The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst Paperback – March 7, 2023

This book helped me unlock the mysteries of why my husband is the way that he is. Avoidant personality stemming from a lot of undiscussed childhood trauma caused by his mother. I've read through it three times now over the last 15 months while recovering from his betrayal. This book is incredibly insightful and helpful to both of us.

Finally a book that really addresses what the betrayed goes.through. Many glaze over and jump.to.reconciliation. This book addresses both paths.

Open your eyes this could be you or a friend. Very hard topic but it's here to stay.

This book was recommended to me, and I gladly recommend it to others. The author creates a framework to actually talk about the pain of infidelity. I didn't have these concepts or words even for my own thoughts. It is such a relief to receive explanations for the push-and-pull feelings infidelity causes.I do wish the author could write a book for those who did not have the choice to stay or go. This book is written on the premise that the betrayal was fairly recent and that the reader is choosing or has chosen to either work on the relationship or leave it. I am very grateful for the framework, terms, and concepts this book provides for working through the hurts and wounds. However, not everyone who experiences infidelity has that choice. Sometimes the betrayer leaves for an affair partner, and sometimes the betrayer denies regardless of proof, then uses the betrayed partner's emotional reaction to justify ending the marriage. Perhaps one day the author can write a book expanding the concepts to situations where the betrayed did not choose to stay or go, or receive closure of an acknowledgment. Perhaps that book could be more about healing from an old wound than a recent occurrence.It is an amazing book, and I am gaining a great deal from it. Not sure if I am fully the target market.

Very helpful for understanding yourself, your emotions, and the reasons it happens.

This book deserves ten super large, glowing stars.My husband confessed to being a sex addict three years ago - it's a horror I wish on no one.I read everything I could find on betrayal and addiction, and there's tons of good stuff out there. . . but there's also lots of crap that tries to blame the problem on or put the healing onto the betrayed partner (think "co-dependent" or "enabler"). Both my experience and my research had taught me that for far too long the focus of healing has been on solely the cheater - even if there was no partner blaming in that approach. Obviously, the betrayer needs major, intensive healing, but my 30 year long relationship with a selfish, addicted man had been all about him, so to begin facing his destructive, hidden choices and to have people tell me it's STILL all about him and his pain was mind-bogglingly insane.You'll get NONE OF THAT GARBAGE from THIS BOOK. THIS book keeps the actions of the cheater on the cheater, and turns instead to help the betrayed partner. It is the best book I've read that focuses on the PARTNER and how she (or he) can heal from the damage done by her (supposed) loved one. Everything you'll read will teach you why your mind and body are reacting the way they are (because that's what we're wired to do when we're in danger!) and then Michelle will put you on a path to healing. You're going to want therapy (really, you deserve the focused support of therapy if you've been betrayed), but do arm yourself with this book.It's worth reading to other folks in addition to Michelle, like Leslie Vernick, Sarah McDugal, Natalie Hoffman, Dr. Omar Minwalla, Dr. Andrew Bauman. But God bless Michelle. Not once did she ask me to suffer more for my husband. Not once did she ask me to have compassion for him. Not once did she ask me to stay in the marriage. She didn't tell me not to do those things, but the book was about me and my needs. There was no twisting, manipulation, or shaming me into taking one drop of responsibility for my husband's crazy choices. She just told me what was happening to me, that it was not my fault all my systems are freaking out, and that I could heal. She even told me I could heal whether or not I chose to stay with my husband. Thank God, thank God, thank God. After decades of having my husband's "self control" problems laid at my feet by him, the culture, and the church, I was able to give his shame back to him (Oh!! What a profound and relieving truth!! His actions are his, not mine!!).Even if your cheating partner is not an addict, this book will give you the tools to walk through recovering from the devastating and life altering blow of betrayal. Faithful people don't cheat. Cheaters cheat. And you can recover from it.

I have taken Michelle‘s 12 week program and she speaks about this book during it as well as a lot of people who are in the program so I purchased the book as well. Her program was great and I really recommend it for anyone who is struggling with narcissistic abuse financial abuse marital abuse of any kind or anyone that’s been cheated on lied to gaslit, etc. His husband’s may have some type of sexual addiction or porn, addiction, or other types of addictions that stem from either of the pre-mentioned.

This is a great book especially the first part about attachment, etc. I have, however, found that not every situation applies to my partner and the book kind of planted ideas in my head of things that I believe are not true even though the author says "most cheating partners" etc etc. maybe in my vulnerable state I am more susceptible to taking things more personally. I almost feel like book is a gaslighting device maybe to promote the author's business? I can take what I want from the book and leave the rest and still would recommend.