The Alpha Female's Guide to Men and Marriage: How Love Works Paperback – February 14, 2017

I am a wife of nearly 23 years and WISH I had had this book then as I had no idea what it took to make a great marriage when I said "I do." I've read many books on marriage over the years and place this one among the top. It is an easy to read book that I believe any woman could benefit from, whether married or single. Whether you have a great marriage, or are on the verge of divorce.Like others before her, the author reminds us that men are rather simple beings. They have few needs, and we as wive will benefit greatly if we understand what those needs are and how to meet them. The author explains that oftentimes, It is difficult for a woman to have an alpha role in the business world, and come home to work together with her husband. Some might say her views are archaic, but the fact is, few homes can survive with 2 alpha leaders. One must be the beta. The author gives ample reason why it makes sense that the wife take the beta role in the home. The book has many personal examples to illustrate the point the author makes. Not only does she tell us the why but she also tells us the how. In addition, she concludes each chapter with a simple assignment or "action."The author begins the book with a short note, then 3 disclaimers, she offers a short quiz in order to find out how alpha you are. The final preface to the meat of the book includes a short account of her own mothers difficulty in balancing a career and being a wife and mother. She explains that there is the need in the current culture for a "new set of tools" in order to make a marriage (or long term monogamous relationship) work.The chapter titles include:Wave the White FlagDecide to StayLearn the DanceOwn Your Feminine (or Your Inner Beta)Serve for the Sake of ServingHave Zero ExpectationsDon't Use Money as a WeaponStop Saying NoSpeak Less--You'll Say MoreGet Busy in the BedroomPlease don't judge the book by the chapter titles. Each chapter has valuable information to make your marriage successful. While some of these ideas may seem rather old fashioned, I'd be hard pressed to say anyone that truly attempts them without biased will be rewarded for their effort.The book also contains a short 10 point list reviewing the "do's and dont's for the alpha female, 8 reading group questions, and a short interview with the author at the end of the book.* I received this book without charge in exchange for an honest review.*

Fantastic book! Practical and wise words for women today. Very applicable and frankly, necessary reading in today's society where our roles have nearly merged.. I know this book will greatly help my marriage as I seek to "rebalance" my marriage and subsequently enjoy the resultant harmony as I step back out of alpha when I get home from work. And to think that we have succeeded in creating successful, strong willed, well intentioned women who become wives. These wives, who by their very learned alpha nature, are inadvertently robbing their husbands of respect and masculinity, thereby resulting in the destruction of their marriages. It was eye opening to me to see the viscous cycle of pitfalls to our marriages when the modern, "strong"/alpha woman attempts, sometimes unknowingly, to take charge within her marriage still in her alpha work role. This is because, you read you simply can't deny biology for "equality" in the marriage, and the author does an incredibly good job of demonstrating this throughout the book. To deny these "built in" needs of the sexes is to sabotage your marriage. No one tells young women beforehand about this collateral damage they may one day experience or how to prevent it when society is actively telling these same young women they can do and be anything they want. Perhaps all career oriented women should be strongly encouraged to read a book like this before embarking on their chosen career fields. In doing so they can be educated about how to separate their controlling, alpha working women traits from their much needed relationship/marital beta roles when they come home, in order to maintain happy, fulfilling marriages. Thank you!!

I had never heard of Suzanne Venker until a few weeks ago, but I was intrigued by her book reviews on Amazon, so I bought it.And the darn thing went and changed my life!She offers a refreshingly traditional view on women, men, and marriage and it does not disappoint. I realized that while I was a self-proclaimed anti-feminist, many of my views on relationships were decidedly feminist! It took a thorough reading of Venker's book to make me aware of my own hypocrisy.I think the overarching theme of this narrative is the question: Can you be beta to your man’s alpha? Many women might say yes, but their actions/way of thinking will prove the answer to be a hard no.I love that Venker doesn't say, 'This is the way you should do this, or the RIGHT way to do this'. She simply offers her perspective through her experiences and knowledge and allows the reader to draw her own conclusions. I think you will truly either love or hate this book. Many women—especially American women—will find that this book strikes a chord with them because of how we were raised. We were raised to be strong and independent while also subconsciously being taught that dependence or needing people, was a sign of weakness. So we shy away from that weakness because strength is an obviously more desirable trait to have. The problem with that fierce independence is that you're in a position of being the boss both at work and at home. But this can lead to another problem if you can't learn to turn it off: when you have to be the boss in your relationships (i.e., you have to be right, you have to have your way or you're not happy), that leaves little room for vulnerability. And without vulnerability, it will make it infinitely harder for love to take root between a man and a woman. Lust, sure. But love? Not so much.The Alpha Woman’s Guide to Men and Marriage will force you to acknowledge some harsh truths about our expectations towards men and how our words and actions are likely providing a toxic environment for the love that we so desire to have. Many women feel righteous in their lists and all these things they require in a man, but are unwilling to acknowledge their own shortcomings or bring anything other than sex to the table. While sex is great, many alpha women find out the hard way that it’s not enough to sustain a healthy relationship or get them to the altar like they’d hoped it would.Self-reflection is a hard thing to do because while it’s easy to point out other people’s flaws, it’s nearly impossible to honestly and objectively see ourselves as flawed or in need of change. Venker doesn’t shy away from this extraordinary and challenging endeavor. She doesn’t accomplish this by picking at the female ego (but let’s admit it ladies, we have one too and it is HUGE), she does it by dragging those ugly demons—Selfishness and Pride—out into the open and examining them with a frankness that’s rare. And it requires no small amount of courage on the reader’s part.The thing I loved most about this book was how Venker challenged me to adjust my attitude. As it turns out, my pride and attitude towards myself, men and relationships did not align with the type of man I wanted—someone strong, driven, protective and loving. However, by adjusting my approach to relationships, I was able to find freedom in the simple fact that the only person you can change is yourself. And that’s only if you want to.To be clear: this is not a book that says all women are wrong and need to change! Relationships are a two-way street. But I truly believe that by accepting most, if not all, of the points listed in this book, many women will find the love that they seek and be much more satisfied individuals. This book isn’t for everyone, but if you’re willing to tackle it with an open mind, I think you’ll find that love is something worth changing for.