Odd Girl Out, Revised and Updated: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls Paperback – Bargain Price, August 3, 2011

If you are a man seeking to understand why the woman you love has found herself cast out of a group, or if you want to understand your teenage daughter's challenges to forming long lasting friendships.Or if you are wondering how you ended up in the middle of a conflict with no idea how to help either side.This book was very revealing to me.

The writing is exquisite, but the subject matter is gut-retching: girl aggression. I loved the way the author used language to emphasize the seriousness of what she is communicating: “girl version of a stealth bomber” (p 69), “silent and smooth as a marble” (p75), “conflicts hang like leaking gas in the air” (p 69). As I read the book and its truth hit me, all I could think is, “How did I survive?” and “This is why I am how I am”. My reaction seems similar to the author’s and some of the person’s she includes in her book. It seems that many of us—girls and grown women—have reached the same conclusions as a result of the aggressive behavior we experienced as students: we stopped trusting parents (p53) and other authority figures such as teachers; we don’t trust women (p. 55); we believe that people can and do erase people (p79); and, school can’t be trusted to protect its students (p115). The author reveals that females aren’t taught how to create relationships nor are we taught that conflict is natural. We aren't taught that there are mean people and toxic friends/relationships. The basic problem seems to be that girls/women are taught to be one way, but, in the real world, an opposite way is required. The author spends two chapters giving detailed instruction and examples of how parents can help their daughters deal with hidden aggression. She, also, discusses how teachers can spot and deal with covert aggression. She writes about modern day instruments of torture: FaceBook, sexting and other means of delivering attacks. All parents, no matter how perfect they think their daughters or the schools of their daughters, need to carefully read, and then use the information given in this book. Doing this could save their daughters much concern and possible damage.

Odd Girl Out, a book originally introduced on the OPRAH SHOW with the then grown women who were the “BULLIES” in high school and junior high/middle school. Thes, now adult women, expressed regret over their behavior when they were younger. This is a MUST READ for EVERY parent of daughters AGES 11 - 18 and school teachers of those ages. Odd Girl Out gave me insights into my students’ behavior when I was teaching middle school.Unlike boys who may settle their differences physically and then move on, girls who bully leave EMOTIONAL SCARS which can follow the bully and especially the victim into adulthood.Bully may be the wrong term here, since often it is more subtle, i.e. a group of friends suddenly leaving one from there group suddenly without EXPLANATION, out of their activities - sitting together at lunch.

This book is an eye opener - even though I experienced the reality of mean girl behaviors (to me and by me); I didn't know how to articulate and process it in a healthy way with my own daughter who was was definitely the Odd Girl Out in Middle School. Now that she is in HS, the maturing of her peers has improved the issue, but the maturity in her along with the content of this book gave her skills to manage it. I have given school principals and deans copies - one actually read it and had good feedback.It is a reality our girls face - it is hard to address, we have to support and advocate for them.

As an elementary school teacher, I recommend this book to every parent and teacher. I first read this when my daughter was in middle school. I wasn’t teaching then. Recently I ordered two more copies to keep in my personal lending library. I love that it’s updated to include the role of social networks.

The insidious nature of attacks by girls on other girls, which starts when they are still little darlings in grade school, is very hard to understand. This books really helps. I think every teacher should be required to read it in order to learn about the subtleties of the symptoms to look for; then maybe they can at least not discount the reactions of children who are being attacked, so they don't feel so alone. I sure would like more advice on how to prevent it in the first place.

This should be required reading for EVERY mother of a tween or soon to be teenage girl. The wealth of information and insight opened my eyes to what my girl was really going through out there in "girl world" My daughter is now 21 and many many times has actually thanked me for reading this book when she was younger.When is the last time ANY 21 yr old actually THANKED a parent for something they did back when they were growing up?READ IT READ IT READ IT!!!I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH!!!

A book written about a very important social dynamic. However, it was written in such a way that it could not hold my attention. It was laborous to read. I have been picking it up over the pass 3 yrs and I am a reading teacher.