Taste of Rice Vegetable Biryani Rice, 8.8 Ounce (Pack of 6)

It must have been an "off" batch, because it did not have the usual yummy flavor and was way more spicy than past packets we have enjoyed. But I have not given up! Everyone has a bad day now and then!

Found some of these heavily discounted at a local grocer. I love Biryani rice so I went for it. My wife tried it first and described it as "Bleck! It tastes like cardboard and cat food!" Knowing that she doesn't have the same refined palette that I have, I had to try it myself so I could explain why she was wrong and how she needs to develop her tastes. The first thing I noticed was that the picture depicts fluffy yellow rice chock full of delicious looking tofu and veggies. What is in the package is a gelatinous brick of brown. Even the corn is brown which takes talent. Never one to be discouraged I checked the best by date and it still had about 13 years to go so I knew we were in business. Popped it in the microwave for 3 minutes and prepared my self to bask in the glorious scents of the middle east. After about 2 minutes I smelled.... cardboard. It was the darndest thing. It legitimately smelled like warm cardboard, which is odd because warm cardboard doesn't have a smell. But if it did, this rice is it. Out of the microwave it came so I could "fluff" with a fork before "enjoying". The first attempt at fluffing with a fork resulted in the entire brick of stuff flopping out fo the bowl. Alright, maybe fluffing is a metaphor for "stab angrily and break into pieces". That didn't really work either so I reserved myself to eating rice with a knife. Then I discovered something horrifying. There was a blob of blackish sauce or something stuck in the middle. It was sorta hard but squishy and I wasn't gonna play that game. I scooped it out and set it aside for further research. Finally, it was time to enjoy this exotic meal. I took my first bite and.... hmmm. It tastes sorta like the smell of catfood. It's not like an overpowering flavor but it is certainly not like "Ooh, I want that in my mouth again." Now, I'm not a quitter so I kept going and it kept not being good. Then I came across another one of those blobs of sauce and started gnawing it before I realized it. It was a bit like eating rubber and seemed to grow as I chewed and then it dawned on me what it was. It was supposed to be tofu. It was the fake version of the fake version of meat. That's a new low. They legitimately used imitation tofu in this thing. I also encountered mushy cashews, blackened peas and that brown corn was something else. And I mean that, something else, not corn. Maybe play-doh? The rice was dry and gritty but at least there was a decent amount of spice. I eventually decided that maybe the problem was a lack of moisture and soaked it in Sriracha. That resulted in a more spicy version of cardboard scented cat food. By the time I powered through the meal I felt as if I had explored a foreign land. I set of on my journey full of excitement and wonder. By the time I was done I was exhausted, beaten and probably survived any number of diseases. All-in-all this could have either been pre-packaged Biryani rice or MRE BBQ hamburgers, they are the same product I think. Also, I wanted to scientifically study this product so I opened another package and gave it to my chickens. I've seen them happily eat everything imaginable, including dog turds and dead mice. They would not touch this rice and that says a lot. Well, I hope this review helps you all make an educated decision before purchasing this product.

Gross rancid rice. Rancid rancid rancid. Threw the whole case away. It was gross.