Self Inking Stamp - Fail

It's a fun concept but the stamp is extremely flimsy, light, and has that cheap plastic feel of something the you know you won't on this earth for very long. It's so off center that it must have been assembled by a one-eyed drunken oompaloompa, trapped in a Chinese factory lit by candle light in an earthquake. It pretty much fell apart after it was exposed to the atmosphere. Which is just as well because there seemed to be enough ink in it to last exactly five minutes from yesterday.Buying this cheap flimsy product has made me want to do the only honorable thing there is left for me to do, and commit ritual suicide by stamping myself in the head with this pile of bad intentions. However since it's already broken that shall remain only an unattainable dream, just like riding my unicorn to the Groundhog Day festival in Punxsutawney to share ice cream with a midget dressed as Elvis would have dressed if he were not a midget, and a talking version of the pencil used in that one movie that time with that guy (you know which one I mean). The only reason I have not simply lit the dead carcass of this item on fire and smashed it out of existence with a rocket-powered sledgehammer, is because I continue to believe that somehow, the scientists who work the Large Hadron Collider can figure out a way to invent one of those guns from Portal so that this item might possibly fulfill it's only reason for being and STAMP ITSELF!!!!!!11111oneoneoneelevendy