Let's Take the Long Way Home: A Memoir of Friendship

It's rare that I simply gush over books but I fell in love with Gail Caldwell's newest book. As sleepy as I was reading the last pages in bed, I didn't want the book to end and it's one of those books I'll read over and over again.When someone is crunched for time, as most of us are, why take the long way anywhere instead of a shortcut? If you've ever been lucky enough to feel so close and so comfortable with a friend that you never have enough time to spend together, you'll understand why and you'll resonate to the story of the powerful bonds between the author and her best friend, Caroline Knapp.The book begins, "It's an old, old story: I had a friend and we shared everything, and then she died and so we shared that, too." While the loss of a best friend to Stage IV lung cancer sounds maudlin, it's only incidental to the beautiful story of love and connection that is the essence of this book.An accomplished writer, recovering alcoholic, rower, dog lover, private person, single, and self-described introvert, Caldwell was 46 years old when she met Knapp, who was 37. In mid-life, they both found kindred spirits whose lives had many parallels."Finding Caroline was like placing a personal ad for an imaginary friend, then having her show up at your door funnier and better than you had conceived. Apart we had each been frightened drunks and aspiring writers and dog lovers; together, we became a small corporation," writes Caldwell. The two became part of each other's family of choice. The mix of similarities and differences both anchored the friendship and enriched their relationships with the larger world around them, personal and professional.What Caldwell does best is to describe the indescribable, finding words that aptly translate the essence of friendship for those of us who often fumble trying to do so. Her prose is simply beautiful and her wisdom so insightful that it leaves the reader with indelible memories and life lessons.She reflects on her first misunderstanding with her friend as a "testing ground and gateway for intimacy." Later, she writes about the friendship: "Our trust allowed for a shorthand that let us get to the point quickly." Characterizing their changed relationship when her best friend becomes critically ill, she describes it as a "choreography of silence." Despite its poignant ending, the Caldwell-Knapp friendship will make you envious---but it will also help you realize that friendships like this are, indeed, possible.Caldwell writes after Knapp's death, "I know now that we never get over great losses; we absorb them, and they carve us into different, often kinder, creatures." The same might be said about how the reader will emerge after reading this touching memoir of friendship.

Raw, emotional and heartfelt. A story of addiction and recovery; friendship and loss. I thoroughly enjoyed Ms. Caldwell's memoir. Not everyone is so lucky to have a friendship like Gail and Caroline. But if you had or still have that friendship, you will certainly relate to Gail's story. If you've lost someone to cancer, you will also know the emotional roller coaster and heartache it brings. Two unlikely people form a bond over rowing, dogs and love of the outdoors. Wonderfully written.

Being a late arrival to the wisdom and brilliance of Caroline Knappthis book gave me the opportunity to know her even better, as wellas allowing me to grieve her all too soon departure from our realm.A little bit about that. I am a therapist and had heard about Drinking, a Love Story and thought it would be a good (turned outto be GREAT) resource for my clients with substance abuse issues.I read it and literally fell in love with Caroline Knapp. I then found out that she had written a book about DOGS and ordered it immediately and practically swallowed it whole. You see I havehad, more on that later) a dog named Nico who was the love of my life; a beautiful, willful, intelligent boy...who through sheerdetermination overcame 3 kinds of Cancer until he met the onehe couldn't beat. He made it to almost 13 (not bad for a healthybig dog) with Cancer following him since 2009.After reading a Pack of Two I decided to google Ms. Knapp (this wasjust in 2010) and found that she had died some years before. I completely fell apart crying.........simply heartbroken that hervoice has been silenced by the insidious epidemic we call Cancer!I immediately ordered and read the other books she had written andmy love affair with Ms. Knapp grew deeper. You see we are cut ofthe same cloth. As it turns out so is Ms. Caldwell.At the end of August of 2010 I lost one of my 2 best friends, myDad, to the same Lung Cancer that killed Ms. Knapp. Of course Ididn't know it was the same Cancer until I read Let's Take the LongWay Home.Just 3 weeks ago to the day (Jan 24, 2011) I lost my other bestfriend, Nico, my Angel Dog....also to Aednocarcinoma. As you canimagine I am heartsick in an indescribable way.On Saturday I read the entirety of Long Way Home and it served asa balm for my heart and soul. The words so pitch perfect to thelevel of grief one experiences upon losing best and irreplaceable friends. Ms. Caldwell's telling of her relationship with Carolinethat was built around sharing the pure joy of the love and adventureswith their dogs is required reading for anyone who has suffereda loss of either/or a 2 or 4 legged best friend. The prose issublime. The honesty a breath of fresh air. And, as I said, anelixir for deep, indescribable loss. Thank you Ms. Caldwell, youshowed up just in the nick of time for both beautiful Caroline andme.

This memoir reads like a long obituary for a woman writer who loved dogs, drank and smoked too much and died of lung cancer. The author, likewise, loves dogs, and had problems with alcohol and tobacco in the past. There is a brilliantly written passage about an incident in which the author's dog is attacked by a neighbor's vicious animal but overall I only finished this book because my book club was going to discuss it.

A soul mate as a friend, whether they are male or female, is one of the best joys in life. This friendship memoir is a testament to the power of love of such a friendship. To have someone that you can say anything to and who will understand and accept. Gail Caldwell and Carolyn Knapp are such a team. Their story is one to savour.Gail and Carolyn met through their dogs. They were both training their dogs and fell into a comfortable relationship while tramping through the woods near Cambridge, in Massachusetts. They had so much in common, and yet were so different. They were both dog lovers, literary authors, Carolyn wrote books and Gail critiqued them, both were alcoholics, both were athletes and slim in build. Both had men in their lives, but Carolyn was the only one who could find her one true love. They met each day after their work and walked and ran and trained their dogs. They talked on the phone many times, they ended each other's sentences at times. They liked the same type of clothing. They loved each other, a sisterhood.When Carolyn's man came back into her life, that was fine, it never interrupted their friendship, it was strengthened . They spent holidays together and so enjoyed each other's company. Their other friends were filled with love for both of them. And, their dogs, well the dogs were the center of their lives. Carolyn loved rowing, Gail loved swimming, so they taught each other their skills. They seemed to fit into each other's lives so well. All was well.Of course, a tragedy occurs, and Gail's rendition of this time is exquisite. There will not be a dry eye, gather your tissues now. The lives of these two women intersect, and for them nothing would ever be the same. Such a personal, well written memoir of their lives together and then apart. The prose and poetry that emanate from this memoir is something to behold.Highly Recommended. prisrob 08-14-10A Strong West Wind: A MemoirDrinking: A Love StoryPack of Two: The Intricate Bond Between People and Dogs

This book is an easy, gentle read if you're pandemic-fatigued and need something both poignant and light. Caroline Knapp's more gritty "Drinking-A Love Story" introduced me to the main characters, here her real life best friend takes the reader through a heartfelt account of their first encounter, budding and blooming friendship, towards it's untimely end. Beautiful description of rowing on the St. Charles River in Massachusettes. I'm a married woman with children, but Ms. Caldwell's story is for any woman who has known, loved and grieved a real "girlfriend." The cover shows a quickie reivew "meant to be savored and shared". Spot on. Grab a blanket, and a cup of tea, sip, repeat....

I read Caroline Kanpp's book, "Drinking: A Love Story," some years ago. I recently picked it up again and, this time, reading it felt like a spoon repeatedly hitting against a crystal glass. So much of her book described my life, my problems, my issues, my family. Eager to get my hands on anything this writer produced in her short life, I read her other books and then was grateful to have Gail Caldwell's book, "Let's Take the Long Way Home," available to learn more about this remarkable woman.However, I was in for a pleasant surprise--Ms. Caldwell's book is a moving tribute to her friend, Ms. Knapp. But, more than that, her descriptions of her own life struggles with alcohol, with living alone, and with death also struck deep notes of familiarity with my own. Like Caldwell and Knapp, I am a middle-aged woman who has had issues with alcohol and, like them, am a confirmed introvert. However, it has taken me a long time to realize that being an introvert is not a "strange" or "weird," condition; both Ms. Knapp's and Ms. Caldwell's books were wonderful confirmations that liking one's own company and often preferring an evening reading a book to going out is not cause to examine "what's wrong with me," and that quitting drinking is not an end to life, but a beginning.Third,in addition to dealing with alchohol and issues of liking living alone, Ms. Caldwell offers some profound insights into death and the grief process. I found myself underlining sentences and phrases in the last third of the book as Ms. Caldwell explores her feelings of loss from her friend's death.I have lived overseas for the past twenty years, with the US Foreign Service, and so cultivating and maintaining close relationships when one moves to a new country every three years is hard work with a good dose of luck thrown in. I feel like Ms. Caldwell and Ms. Knapp are women I would have liked to have been friends with--I was sorry when I finished the books these women had written. I look forward to more of Ms. Caldwell's works. (I just ordered "A Strong West Wind.") Sadly, I'll have to be content with re-reading Ms. Knapp's books from time to time.And, as a bonus, I--like Ms. Caldwell--am a Texas girl..... I doubt I will ever move back there, but it will always occupy a special place in my heart.

This short touching book will take you on a trip of love and friendship and loss in a beautifully written ribbon of prose. Enjoy and keep Kleenex at hand.

I believe I have all ready written a review of this book. While it is well written, to me it was almost like a rant.... for the author to get things off her mind.

Loved this book

great

An unusually evocative portrait of an unusually deep friendship.