The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers: Gentle Ways to Stop Bedtime Battles and Improve Your Child's Sleep

Our 3-year old son used to be a champion sleeper, sleeping 11 hours overnight with 2-hour daytime naps but about 6 months ago He stopped sleeping well. He started using delay tactics and his sleep would be delayed too - it would take him an hour to fall asleep! Eventually he started waking up early too, shortening his sleep even further. We kept hoping he would snap back to his "normal" sleep behaviour but he just got worse. We tried many different things, such as a later bed time or taking his stuffed animals away if he asked to go potty but didn't go or asking him why he wasn't sleeping but nothing worked. A few months ago behavioural issues started creeping up and he started misbehaving at school too. It was hard to determine if his increased defiance was due to a lack of sleep or the fact that he was being a 3 year old. Whatever the case, our situation was getting stressful. I was sleep deprived and increasingly cranky too, frustrated to no end. I desperately needed help. I am so glad I bought this book! Not everything in it pertained to me or would pertain to everyone but there is enough relevant information for me to pick through and choose the right pieces to help my situation. It's not a step by step instruction book per se (because everyone's situation is different) and I think that's why it doesn't appeal to some people. It does require some self-analysis and the ability to objectively assess your own situation. Elizabeth Pantley offers facts and proven ideas. It is up to you to choose appropriately for your child. I found the information she provides highly useful and ultimately it worked for us! After 2-3 weeks of tweaking our bedtime routine here and there my son now is sleeping better and longer and best of all his behavioural issues have vastly improved due to more sleep! The number of temper tantrums have been cut dramatically. I can't recommend this book enough! The only negative I have is more about the Kindle version, not really about the book. There are various tables and charts (more than a few) throughout the book and on a Kindle it is not treated as text (but like a photo) so it is not sizeable. You'd need a magnifying glass to properly read the information on the charts/tables! I was not able to properly read them. It didn't affect me being able to use the book to help my child but just so parents know that on a Kindle you may lose the ability to view all of the book. Having said that, the portability of the Kindle and its ability to be easily read at night with the lights off made it easier for me to complete this book!

If you've read her first book for babies, you can probably skip this. I found her first book to be extremely helpful, and had my baby daughter sleeping through the night. Now that she's 3 she wants me in her room with her until she falls asleep (and all night would be her preference). I'm not ready for bed when she needs to go to sleep, so I was hoping to find some tips from this book. While Elizabeth Pantley does give good tips and reinforces the need for a sleep schedule, the information relevant to me wasn't much different than what I learned from her first book. Basically it came down to, either put up with this for the short term, knowing she'll grow out of it, or deal with the crying that will ensue. At least Pantley gave reassurance that my 3 year olds behavior is completely normal. But... there are some special cases outlined in the book that other parents might find helpful, even if they've read her first book. She gives good advice for parents of special needs children, children coping through a divorce or another major life change, and these are all points that weren't addressed in her first book. So if any of those special cases might apply to you, you could find this helpful.

This book helps keep me sane. My daughter is probably average when it comes to sleep, takes a little more time than i would like to get her down, but she mostly sleeps through the night. But at the times that she has been going through transitions, or when all of a sudden what I have been doing stops working, this book has been an invaluable resource. As many others have said, it is such a big help just to know that you are not alone, that your child is not abnormal, and most other parents are dealing with similar issues. I also appreciate the academic and practical nature of her approach, in that she presents the research and facts about young children and sleep, and her recommendations are also based in extensive, credible research, not just some random 'method' she came up with. Second, the book is filled with lists of creative and practical suggestions for dealing with each different kind of sleep problem, and they are presented in a non-judgmental way that helps you figure out what's best for your particular situation--it is all about tailoring the right fit for your family, rather than prescribing a one-size fits all approach. When I was still breastfeeding, I really appreciated the way she treated the issue, acknowledging the strong ties between nursing and sleep and then giving suggestions for ways to try to night wean, if that's what you want---rather than just telling you not to let your child fall asleep at the breast like so many other books do. Like it's just that simple! She is very compassionate and helpful. I have not read the book cover-to-cover, and I never did a sleep log or wrote out a plan, and our bed time routine is not quite as consistent as she suggests it should be, but the suggestions in her book did help me get my daughter to sleep through the night without nursing at 12 months and get her back into a good nap routine when she went on a nap strike at 2. And most of all, calmed me down and gave me some needed perspective when I was starting to despair! I haven't read the infant book, I kind of wish I had when my daughter was younger, but this one was useful even before my daughter was officially a toddler and I'm sure I will still turn to it many more times in the years to come. I definitely recommend it to any parent trying to figure out the most effective and loving ways to help their child (and themselves!) get the sleep they need.

We have all of Pantley's "No Cry" sleep and nap solution books...they are ALL wonderful. I particularly appreciate how she provides actual research, allows you as the parent an ability to make your own decisions (that is, she doesn't tell you "You HAVE to do ALL of this". She provides clear, sound, advice that is most of all GENTLE and doesn't make my Mommy "gut" rebel or raise any red flags. Our son just turned three and we have used her methods. Our son just turned three and he now sleeps in his big boy bed, in his big boy room, 10-11 hours a night without any problems. If he needs us, he calls for us and we take care of his needs. But anyone who says that if you don't "Ferberize" your child or make them CIO, that your child will never learn to be self-sufficient at night is completely wrong, at least from our experience. Our son, if he does wake up and doesn't go back to sleep on his own, can take up to an hour to call for us (we've seen this on the monitor). He clearly is comfortable and feels safe, and when he has an issue, THEN he calls for us. We have even seen him wake up, sit up, sing a couple of verses of his newest favorite song, lay himself down with his "BB" blanket, and go right back to sleep. I learned a lot from Pantley, even though I am an educated person - I learned about sleep cycles, gained good suggestions for creating sleep-conducive environments, and more. I very highly recommend all of these books - if you are looking for gentle, caring ways to help your child sleep, PLEASE read these books. I'm not suggesting they are a cure-all or will immediately make all of your household sleep problems go away, but they WILL help you find solutions over time that will lay the groundwork for good sleeping by all! Our son is happy, healthy, and comfortable and feels safe not only during the day but also at night. He doesn't immediately call for us if he wakes up. Our transition to big boy bed and big boy room (previously his crib was in our room, and we did a lot of co-sleeping) was almost a non-issue...we took care that he felt comfortable and safe in his new room, and we didn't have any of the typical problems you hear about - the child getting out of the bed a lot, the child waking up a lot, etc - and I am 100% positive that that is because of the groundwork we laid, and how confident our son is that his needs - emotionally and physically - will be met!

When my daughter was about 4 months old I read Pantley's first book, The No-Cry Sleep Solution and it was just what I needed as a first time mom to get my baby to sleep well at night and during naps. My loved ones with kids either told me to let her cry it out, or they didn't have any advice since they can't get their kids to sleep either. I was desperate to find a method that would work for me without having to make my daughter cry. NCSS helped me with that. I used a combination of what I read in NCSS and the sleep chapter in Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting and my daughter has been sleeping for 12 hours a night with no wakeups since she was about 5 months old. The only time she wakes up in the night or when we have trouble getting her to bed is when she is sick. Even then she does very well and still only wakes up 1-2 times a night. The reason why I bought this book after I was done with the other one is because now that my daughter is a toddler I think it is important for her to learn how to sleep without a parent rocking her for hours and singing every song we know. In NCSS I learned how to relax my child to help her sleep. Now I want my child to learn to do it herself, the way older children and adults do. I feel that its important for a child to learn to get themselves to sleep by themselves, by thinking of pleasant things or singing themselves songs or whatever until they drift off. I didn't learn that skill as a child, and for years I had trouble laying down to sleep. The only way I knew to get myself to sleep was to fall asleep while reading. If I read a book that was too interesting, I'd end up reading all night. I did badly in school and I was always tired and cranky. I did not learn how to use relaxation techniques to fall asleep until I was well into adulthood. I don't want that for my child. I bought this book because I was hoping to find tips on how to gently teach children to relax themselves to sleep. In The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers most of the book is taken from her previous book. Basically saying that most or possibly all of your bedtime issues will be solved by having a consistent routine. Okay, yes, fine... I knew that. I read the other book... Almost all of the sleep tips for when the child wants to stay up and play, or keeps asking for one more book, or one more drink of water, or whatever are to stick to the routine or make the routine longer or whatever. But let's be honest, the perfect routine isn't going to work every single night. I need more than that. There is nothing on what to say or do if for whatever reason the routine just fails to work that one night. In these cases I end up assuming that my daughter just wants to spend more time with me before going to sleep, and for now that is fine. We read another book, or sometimes end up starting the routine all over again. But one day soon she will HAVE to go to sleep at a certain time and wake up at a certain time to be ready for school. If she didn't sleep because I kept giving in to requests/demands then its my fault that she's sleepy. Now is the time for her to be learning these skills. There are literally no suggestions for those of us with toddlers who literally fight sleep. As in, kicking and screaming, or even hitting and biting. My (now 2 years old) toddler is going through a control freak phase and settling down to go to sleep to her means relinquishing control, and she literally fights against it. She cries and screams and ends up sobbing in the floor, sometimes crying herself to sleep. No matter how gentle the lullaby or how long we rock her, she still is distraught and afterwards I am exhausted and stressed. Even if we do her bedtime routine perfectly, this still happens. And Pantley has no suggestions for that. Only after many discussions with other parents and my daughter's pediatrician did we work out a solution. The section of the book I disliked the most was what to do when basically you want to put your child in the bed, say goodnight, and know your child is going to go to sleep on his or her own without issues. There were no tips. None. Basically Pantley wants you to explore the reasons why you would want to be able to put your child down to sleep without sitting there reading 5-6 or books, nursing for 20 minutes, then rocking and bouncing and shushing for half an hour and then putting the child in the bed once she's asleep and then creeping away. All of the reasons given in the book were worded in a guilt inducing way. There's nothing to feel guilty about. I should be able to expect my child to lay down in her bed and go to sleep the same way that I do. Its a perfectly natural part of growing up. I don't have anything against sitting there and rocking her. In fact, I treasure those moments because during the day she is running around non-stop and that's the only time I get any cuddles. But she needs to learn to sleep without all that stuff, in spite of my personal hang ups. Pantley makes this sound like a crime against humanity. I believe toddlers are 100% capable of learning this skill, and it isn't too much to ask at all. I also don't think I'm a bad mother for wanting her to be capable of getting to sleep without needing me. There is something desperate and co-dependent about needing her to need me. She will never learn how to do things on her own, and thrive as an adult if I need her to need me. Part of growing up is learning to sleep like an adult and its my job to teach her to do that, just like all the other skills she must learn for herself. Since I got nothing I needed from this book, I am kind of making it up as I go along. To help my daughter get more involved in her bedtime routine (and help her feel more in control of her own life) I decided to switch her to a toddler bed at 16 months. I double checked all the baby proofing and converted her crib to a toddler bed. I showed it to her and showed her how easy it would be to crawl in and out on her own. She loves it and we haven't had any problems. We have not gotten to the point where I can put her to bed fully awake, but I do put her to bed when she's drowsy. She is a tummy sleeper and I lay her down on her back and she rolls over and falls asleep on her belly without a fuss. Sometimes she says, "nigh nigh" and then falls asleep which is adorable. Right now our routine is the same as when she was a little baby. Bathtime, dim lights, put on pjs and brush teeth etc, we tell her stuffed animals and baby dolls goodnight (she has a baby doll cradle and she loves rocking her dolls to sleep), read 1-4 books (depending on length of book) while listening to soft music and drinking milk. Then once she is drowsy (awake but head kind of flopping around and struggling to keep her eyes open) I lay her down on the bed. If she whines and gets upset I hold her for a while and tell her that she's in a safe place and we can hear her on the monitor if she needs us, but that its night time and all her friends are asleep and now its her turn. We also tell her that big girls go to sleep at night time without fussing. I talk to her about all the nice things she will get to do the next day so that she has pleasant things to think about, and I tell her that me and her daddy love her very much. Sometimes I name off all the people that love her. By that time she is settled down a lot and I lay her back down and she goes to sleep just fine. I am hoping that over time her bedtime routine will shorten naturally and one day I'll be able to say, "Alright its bedtime" and she'll climb in bed and I can cover her up and kiss her goodnight and be able to leave her room without a fight. --------- UPDATE Updating as now my daughter is 27 months now and things have changed a bit. I still maintain that little can be gained from reading this if you've already read the first NCSS for babies. If you've never read it and have a toddler, I'm positive that this will help. But even after trying all the tips from both books my toddler still fights sleep. Really hard. She is the Mike Tyson of fighting sleep. But after doing the described routine for months we have gotten to a point where she understands that she is going to sleep at some point. She is old enough to understand that she needs sleep to be healthy. We say, "You need to sleep to get back the energy you used while playing today." and "Your body needs to rest to feel good." We got her board books on naptime and bedtime which also helped to explain these concepts in language toddlers can understand. Our routine (for bedtime and naps) now is this: - Bathtime, brush teeth, potty. - Quiet play and clean up with dimmed lights and classical music. We also warn that bedtime is drawing nearer by saying "10 more minutes til bedtime" until we count down from 10 seconds. - Potty one more time, put on pajamas, pick out a stuffed animal and books to read. Turn off music and dim lights more. - Get snuggled in bed and read 4-6 books depending on length and sleepiness. - Turn out lights, sing songs. This is when she used to be rocked to sleep. Now she gets mad if we try to rock her and says she's a big girl and wants to lay down on her own. At this point she begins to fight sleep and start kicking off covers, asking for things to stall for time, trying to tuck in her bear 50 times, telling us she has to pee and then when we get to the bathroom she sits there for 20 minutes and never pees... etc. We roll with it since we know she's stalling and remind her that she needs to go to sleep. After a certain point she will lay in bed and listen to me sing and fall asleep. From the time she lays down in bed to the time I walk out the door takes about 15-45 minutes. Much shorter than the 2 1/2 hours we used to spend at naptime and bedtime. We have gotten to a point where every once in a while, she will lay down on her own and fall asleep. Or when she gets tired she will go sit on her bed and look at books, and I can come in there and just watch her, ask if she's sleepy and she'll just nod her head. So I can cover her up and she'll go to sleep. This is great because this means she's getting that she needs rest, and resting can be an enjoyable part of her day. She actually likes to sit quietly and lay quietly and talk to herself now, so I think we are close to being able to say goodnight and trust her to stay in bed. In a few months we are going to switch her to a twin bed, since she is nearly too tall for her toddler bed. I am hoping by that time she will be more comfortable with going to sleep.

This book and this series has helped me in so many ways. I started out my journey with the No Cry Sleep Solution as a overly tired family. At the time my son was nursing and co sleeping. After reeding this book I quickly learned what was "normal" sleep and what I should expect from my little man. I have never been a fan of the "cry it out" method. I've always thought that babies cry for a reason and a tiny being so young could not possibly be trying to manipulate the situation, instead he was crying for his needs to be met. He just needed to be understood and feel safe. My goal when getting this book was to get more sleep!! Simple right? With in seriously a few weeks of using the tips and tricks in this book my son was down to two night nursings and sleeping in his own crib. I'm not saying that it will be that easy for every person and every baby, but it works very well for us. I refer back to this book on a regular basis whenever my son has troubles sleeping. The thing I really love about the way it is written is that I truly gave me confidence. The confidence to do and know what I already felt in my heart. This book helped me so much that I have almost all of the series. I have The No Cry Discipline Solution, The No Cry Picky Eater Solution (currently reading and love love love it!), The No. Cry Potty Training Solution, and Perfect Parenting. I honestly would love the entire series of every book she writes! The most touching thing tho was when, on a whim, I emailed Elizabeth. I was having trouble with taking my two year olds pacifier and couldn't find a lot on this in the books I have. She actually emailed me back. Her, herself emailed me back giving me some really great information on gently taking the Paci. I was so incredibly touched that as an author she truly cares about the families she is writing for. I can't say enough good things about this author and her books. I recommend all of them!!

If you are looking for a gentle approach to helping your child sleep through the night, this is a great book. I also appreciate that the author is sensitive to the needs of mothers who are breastfeeding their toddler or pre-schooler. It is encouraging to read that you are not alone in having a toddler who does not sleep through the night. This book has some good ideas that I have used, but I have not put the full method to use. The downsides of this book are that the full method requires a long-term commitment and effort and if you have any doubts about it - as I did - you are not likely to follow through. Also, the author at times is too rigid about not letting your child cry. I have not practiced the "cry it out" approach at all, but with my child's temperment and personality there are times when she cries for a few minutes in bed before falling asleep and I have had to come to accept that as a reality.

This book truly changed everything! When I bought this book our daughter would scream and cry when we would try and put her in her crib for bedtime, to the point that there were nights we were up with her till one AM! Yes that's right. She had always been a night owl, and we'd always allowed her to stay up till 11PM-ish because she would always just hang out with us, then we'd send her to bed and she was fine. All of a sudden she just started pushing the limits and would flip out about going to bed. As stupid parents, we just thought, "she's obviously not tired, so we just need to keep her up later!" Unfortunately, that didn't work either, and she would just be crazier and more wound up, and more resistant to going to bed. We also felt like prisoners in our own home because we had a kid that was up with us till the middle of the night. We couldn't get anything done and eventually were so tired we couldn't stay up as late as she could! letting her cry it out was awful, and often it didn't work and we would go back in the room to make her feel better and she would just beg to be taken out of her crib because she couldn't go to sleep. After reading this book we realized we were doing everything wrong! She was so hyper because she was tired! And by keeping her up later and letting her run the show, she was basically responding to the lack of structure by becoming crazier. I had an idea of what we could do to make her sleep earlier, and this book helped me compile a list of ideas to create the perfect bedtime ritual to allow her to be ready for bed at a reasonable time. At the time I bought the book I would have settled for an 11pm bedtime with no crying. I honestly NEVER thought we could get her on an earlier sleep schedule, because she'd been going to bed so late ever since she was over a year old. I just thought it was the way she was wired. WRONG! With this book's help our daughter goes to bed as early as 8:30pm!!! It's truly a miracle. Kids can change, it's the parents that are the tough cookies. I am so thrilled with this book, I can't say enough good things about it! Lots of sections weren't relevant to our problem, but this book covers basically any situation. We just read the parts that related to us and picked the ideas that we thought would help. If you're having sleep issues with your toddler, don't hesitate, click the "buy button"! Now!

I bought this book as my three 1/2 year old was throwing dreadful tantrums about going to bed and taking a very long time to settle and fall asleep. we have recently moved house and he got out of his usual routine. He had also begun to drop his daytime nap, his nursery did not put him down for naps. Reading this book helped me to understand sleep in young children and how sleep patterns change. I had thought my son was throwing tantrums becuase he wasnt tired and didnt want to go to bed but after reading this book I realised that the opposite was true, my son was over tired and has a tendancy to get very hyperactive when he feels like this. The solution for us was a longer bedtime routine that starts earlier, audio-books in the evneing istead of TV and encouraging him to nap or rest early afternoon. This book does not offer one solution for every child/family so I'd recommend reading the whole book rather than dipping in and out. It also made me feel better about the lack of success we have had with 'cry it out' approaches, which for us seemed to make things worse. Our son still needs us with him when he is falling asleep but now I am confident that this is normal for a child of his age and we are all happier knowing that he will fall asleep calmly and quickly.

My youngest son has never been a fantastic sleeper, I had always put a bad night down to something. We had a routine and he was going down to sleep great ( great for naps too) although the quality and amount of night time sleep wasnt great and at 19/20months - something just changed and made it all worse, he wouldnt go down at all for bedtime or naps. 5am and 5.30am wake ups were also just to early. My toddler was a different little boy, crying all day, clingy and the the fact both my husband and I were completely exhausted due to the lack of sleep. I had tried all logical ideas but I think I was so tired I was looking for a quick fix, an instant solution. This book firstly lets you know you are not on your own and what is going on is normal ( as I had never had any sleep issues with my eldest, I was completely thrown with my youngest). She also tells you there are no quick fixes and to give ideas and routines time. I began to look at my routines and realised when we begin to log our routine they could be tightened up a little. We started to see a changed after about a week and then something else would happen, you know children they dont stay the same for to long and like to keep you on your toes. Therefore I was able to use this book as a reference if other issues cropped up. I have had the book 4 weeks now and I would say my 22 month old son is now showing clear signs that he needs to go to bed, is sleeping longer, and his quality of sleep is less disturbed. We found his mattress was too firm ( although we bought him a thick pad to go over it when he was 10 months). We currently have an ikea bunkbed mattress on the floor and he is sleeping much better and 80% of nights are 11hrs solid with a 1.5-2.5hr nap( use to be 7-9hrs) and I feel they are getting better too. My husband and and I are rested and can now cope with a "bad night" now and again. My friend also bought this book after I told her what I had tried, she made a could of little changes and actually had instant results, again she watched for the signs of her childs bed time and stuck to the routine. A great buy, and would recommend it!!!

Best book to read to know and understand about sleep and importance of sleep for children... Best satisfaction for the thing that I have spend money for such an amazing book...

Ich hatte mir das Buch zuerst bei einer Freundin geliehen, und etwas Sorge das mein Englisch dafür nicht reicht. Grundlos, es ist gut verständlich geschrieben und mein Wörterbuch konnte im Regal stehen bleiben ;-) Aber zum Inhalt Die Autorin zeigt hier das es auch anders geht als nach jedes Kind kann...(Ferber Methode) . Für alle die Ihren Kindern keine Schreiorgien zumuten wollen sondern auf die Bedürfnisse des Kindes UND der Eltern eingehen möchten, stehen dort einige hilfreiche Tips. Allerdings wird auch darauf hingewiesen das kein Kind nach Schema F funktioniert und jede Familie sich Ihr Vorgehen daher auch erarbeiten muss, was aber mit Hilfestellung der Autorin ganz gut funktioniert. Ausserdem räumt sie auf mit der gängigen Vorstellung das Kinder möglichst früh durch und alleine Schlafen sollen. Was nicht heisst das sie nicht Hilfestellung gibt damit sie es lernen wenn es denn erforderlich ist. Gut finde ich das sie nie in eine Richtung drängt. SIe sagt nicht es MUSS abgestillt, allein geschlafen etc. werden sondern betont immer wieder das das jede Familie für sich ausmachen und das jeweilige Schlafproblem erst einmal überdacht werden sollte, ob es denn wirklich eines ist oder nur von Familie, Freunden, Nachbarn zu einem gemacht wird. Ist man selber mit der Situation eigentlich zufrieden gibt es keinen Grund etwas zu ändern auch wenn, andere es einem vorhalten. Wenn man aber etwas ändern will zeigt sie Möglichkeiten auf das auch sanft und dauerhaft zu tun. Mein Fazit: Gute Tips aber kein Allheilmittel was es meiner Meinung nach aber auch nicht gibt dafür ist jedes Kind und jedes Elternteil zu verschieden als das immer der selbe Ratschlag funktionieren würde. Meiner Familie war es eine Stütze und Hilfestellung, zum durchhalten und um etwas zu verändern. Ich habe es mir nachdem ich mein Leihexemplar zurückgeben musste nun gekauft. Schade das es nur auf englisch erhältlich ist, das schreckt bestimmt viele ab, hoffentlich ändert sich das bald.

My son had some days bad sleep and I had read some pages from this book and it described exactly the problem he had so I decided to buy this book. Very helpful tips! As a parent, I can understand more what is happening with the child so I feel more calm and confident to deal with his sleeping problems! I would recommend this book.