Black Baby White Hands: A View from the Crib

Rarely do I see the sort of distribution of review ratings all over the map as I do for this book. While the author may not have anticipated this, the reasons for that are rooted in the same inability to acknowledge the validity of another’s experience that’s the subject of the book.It’s about a child, not an adult who can be expected to stop feeling sorry for himself by simply being told to do so. All children have fears and want to fit in. What’s not to get about that? To be fair, it’s far less about self-pity than it is about overcoming it. It’s about the profound questions facing everyone early in life before identity has been firmly established — how do I fit in? and who am I? Childhood can be turbulent and most children have fear, some not to be taken lightly. We should all be so lucky as to have what is reflected in the eyes of others affirm our experience and the uniqueness of who we are.It’s the reader’s own identity that induces the perception of whining and self-pity vs. appreciation of challenges arising from atypical circumstances that would clearly shape the reality of any child. It was uplifting that the child found his way and place in the world, particularly in light of how often that doesn’t happen.The theme of identity is reminiscent of Ralph Ellison’s Invisible Man but was made more compelling through the eyes of a child. It’s easy for those with an idyllic, homogeneous childhood to discount the challenges cruel fate foists on others. One can’t appreciate the difficulties without having walked for miles in the other’s shoes. But in a pinch, empathy and imagination will suffice.A quote is in order because Jaliyah John describes it so well:“I’m talking about the grand illusion of sameness mi’jo. When everyone in one place sees things the same way, they are convinced they are seeing the world the right way and the only way. They figure ‘everyone else backs up my point of view, I must be seeing things right.’ In fact, all that is true is that they all share the same blindness.”

I understand where people are coming from with the "pity party" idea in other reviews, but I respectfully disagree. When a person's experience isn't acknowledged and validated, they become more entrenched in their experience - and I think this is what the author points out many times. If there was just someone who could have said, "yes, I get that; I have had that experience and I know how terrible it feels," I think he would have had an easier time of it. This man didn't have anyone who could understand his perspective, much less empathize. He indeed did have wonderful parents - he doesn't deny this - but like all parents, they couldn't be perfect. Given the times, I don't think many White people had taken an honest look at the overt and covert racism that exists.I have not finished the book yet - I'm close - and I will admit that at times, his writing seems redundant. That said, he is a lovely writer - very poetic and spiritual. Definitely worth reading, particularly if you are considering transracial adoption. We owe it to the children we adopt to educate ourselves so that we can do the best job we can - knowing we will never do a PERFECT job. There is so much knowledge out there about racism and the more we know about it, the more we can do for our kids.

The words on these pages have lifted me from a spiritual slumber I wasn’t even aware I was in. The connection of this piece to the “I” in each of us is something I feel certain of. From a personal, professional and spiritual standpoint the recount of events so eloquently described by Dr. Jaiya John have moved me to a new state of awareness and fortitude to make a difference in the spreading of peace and unity throughout our nation…our world. I feel if you are blessed to have the opportunity to partake in this work and be moved and changed by it, it will find you when you at just the right time. No one person’s life is perfect, nor can it be perfectly understood. It takes courage to share such a truth and I was moved by the honesty and the wisdom his words shed on my point of view.

First off, the man is a poet. That would explain the "overdone" prose one reviewer complained about. Before you spend your money, know what it ain't - a quick fix, a bulleted list, transracial adoption for dummies, a Dr. Phil-esque summary of the 10 things, 7 habits or 3 secrets you must know before you transracially adopt ...It is a memoir written by a man who feels very deeply, it is a man showing & sharing emotional & psychic wounds, it is a journey toward wholeness & spiritual healing. If you have never struggled or searched the deep things of your own emotional & psychic trauma, you may not "get" it.I got it. I loved it. Deep calls unto deep. I recommend this book to anyone with a mind & spirit open to receive it.

Dr. Jaiya John revealed his Memoir in an Authentic, Powerful and Riveting Way. I appreciate that this man had the courage to be vulnerable. Throughout the entire memoir,I am very impressed with how he was able announce his activism towards discovering "Who He Is" and "Whose He Is". I love how he intricately threaded his search of appreciating his African, African American and Native American Culture with the grand stance of indelible Curiosity and Yearning. He never gave up. And,he never lost sight of his ultimate passion and mission in life which carried him all along his journey. I felt how he put his faith and trust in the almighty Creator. Thank You Jaiya....I speak your name!!!