Preparing to Die: Practical Advice and Spiritual Wisdom from the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition

I want to offer another rave review, while adding a few cautionary notes that other reviewers, perhaps because many are immersed in the Tibetan Budddhist tradition, haven't offered. Mr. Holecek's book is a true magnum opus, containing the most powerful teachings on how to make the most of THIS life I've ever read and the clearest and most detailed account of the dying process, intermediate state and rebirth from the Tibetan tradition available, with a richness of pithy practice advice. The author's warmth, enthusiasm and willingness to share his own challenges in truly living these teachings make the book even more inspiring. There is so much here, and just the small sections on creating a Dharma will and dealing with hospice and health workers are alone more than worth the price of the book, in my opinion. While I've practiced in the Tibetan tradition myself for over 35 years I also have a good grounding in the Theravadin and Zen traditions, and have long been keenly interested in Buddhist history. Mr. Holecek is such a dyed-in-the-wool "true believer" in the Tibetan tradition that he doesn't stop to think how off-putting some of what he says could be to readers with other backgrounds, and he also takes the party line beliefs from within his tradition at face value even when modern scholarship clearly shows they are incorrect. The bardo teachings are unique to the Tibetan tradition, and as Donald Lopez has shown in his excellent "Tibetan Book of the Dead," they are as much Bön (pre-Buddhist shamanism) as Buddhist. These are teachings on reincarnation, in the HIndu sense, not Buddhist rebirth, and they are far removed from what we know (which is a great deal, these days) of what the historical Buddha of the Pali canon taught. This isn't to say they aren't valid, but merely to point out that while the Tibetan teachings on death and dying get all the attention these days, there are older and far simpler teachings on dying in the Buddhist tradition that don't require such a long list of assumptions and presumptions. The historical Buddha never taught about bardos, peaceful and wrathful deities, bodhichitta, guru devotion, transference of consciousness (pure shamanism) or any sort of timeless essence of mind ("primordial awareness" and other quasi-atman theistic notions). This isn't to say that the Tibetan tradition teachings may not be even more profound, but the danger is that a prospective reader could think that these teachings are representative of Buddhism as a whole, and that belief in them is necessary to benefit from the book. That would be unfortunate, for the teachings on renunciation and putting first things first, combined with a dedication to practice and a willingness to otherwise rest in the "don't know mind" of the agnostic, may prove more appropriate for many readers.

For the past two years my father, a traditional Christian when through a slow period of deterioration. Wanting to help my family I began to read through a variety of books on death. This one was by FAR THE BEST BOOK I read. Though I am open to Buddhism, none of my family is, so I did not let them know I was drawing from this book. Instead, I simply told them things I was learning while reading a number of books and everyone was helped so much by what I shared. Taking away the Buddhist language used at times, I simply explained the stages, which we all saw my dad pass through in his final four months. I would read the book and tell my family, "Look for this to happen next." It did, over and over. It was so comforting to everyone. Best of all I was able to advocate in the hospice my dad was in and implement many of the practical suggestions in this book to help him have a peaceful death, which he did have. For example,I didn't say anything like "At the time of death we need to be sure my dad is in a good space so he has a good rebirth, which is something no one in my family believed in." For example, a few of the things I said were, "We need to keep him in a quiet space with beautiful music playing. We need to act as if he can hear us even though at times he seems unconscious and respect him no matter what. We need to help him review his life in a positive manner." There were so many other things I implemented that all my family appreciated and I never mentioned Buddhism once. I stayed within their own belief system. In the end, everyone felt very helped by the things we shared over the many months, including the practical things we needed to watch out for in regards to his care, funeral, and so forth. Having had such a positive experience because of this book, I just can't recommend it enough.

I am 85 years old and in good health for my age .... I am on blood pressure meds and meds to counteract the meds and have been on for some twenty years with no changes of note in dosage etc. That is not to say I do not feel my age, I am fully aware that none of us live forever and so I checked this book out to see if I have all my my "bases" covered. I do not want to leave my children my problems to solve just because I was not taking care of my own business .... I am Buddhist, however, have no plans for a formal Buddhist process or "funeral" .... I will rather be cremated and sent to my beloved Yosemite for release ..... I have found this book to be highly beneficial to me with information I needed for making my wishes known about not taking measures to prolong life when it is clear when the outcome of any health problem is obvious ..... and so I am putting in writing my wishes for the end time very specifically and the "how" of doing that is clearly stated in the book. Also, it made me aware that my will ( that was drawn up 40 years ago ) needed updating and etc. Good practical and sound advise make this book a valuable tool to ensure my final wishes are carried out. There will be sections of the book that a non-Buddhist will not appreciate ... I do .... but if I did not the basic information of making sure my final wishes are carried out are benefical to easing my mind that I have done all I know how to do to make this easier on those I leave behind. So to sum it up I will just say "thank you" to the author, your book has been very helpful and it has given me peace of mind that "all the bases are covered" and I will make a graceful exit.

This books picks up where Sogyal Rinpoche's classic, and international bestseller, "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" leaves off. It offers the best practical advice on how to implement Tibetan Buddhist death and dying practices, before, during, and after the dying process. This book is equally valuable whether you are preparing for your own death or the death of another. It summarizes the best materials on this topic from the best sources in one book, and can be used as a reference guide-- you don't have to start at the beginning of the book. Holecek is an expert in this field of death and dying, and his writing is clear, concise, and motivating, which is especially helpful given our psychological resistance and denial of the inevitability of our own death. In my opinion, the best books for Westerners on the Tibetan Buddhist approach to death and dying are now: Sogyal Rinpoche's,"The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying;" Anyen Rinpoche's, "Dying with Confidence;" and Andrew Holecek's, "Preparing to Die."

This is the quintessential book for anyone dealing with death and dying are that has any questions beforehand. Helps you handle anyone in your family who is dying or friends. This is a book that should be on everyone's shelf if you have any questions regarding death and dying. Is Buddhist focused however it also gives extraordinary information far outside the Buddhist realm in everyday ways to handle grief and deal with bodies etc..

Whether you believe in reincarnation or not,this book is helpful. Our society is sorely lacking in recognizing the fact that we are all going to die. Not a bad idea to be prepared.

This should be required reading for everyone! Easy to read and comprehensive

I've always wanted a very practical way to approach old age, sickness, and death. But where does one look to get answers to these types of life questions. Well, this book hits the nail on the head 100%. I've not finished it, but find it very practical and easy to read. I find it hard to put it down. I can't remember if I have ever highlighted or dog-eared any book as much as this one. For me, it is a classic and must-read book. Being Zen Buddhist, I have a natural interest in this as Zen Buddhism does not teach much about this. However, the Tibetan Buddhist author talks from extensive training and experience. One can easily tell his experiential authority in how he writes. Excellent, excellent book.

La guía más detallada, completa y práctica para enfrentarse a la muerte, propia y ajena. Andrew Holocek fundamenta y resume todas las enseñanzas del budismo tibetano sobre la muerte, precisamente para afirmar la capacidad humana de afrontar una situación por la que todos vamos a pasar. Es el mejor libro para los occidentales y muy reconfortante observar que los ejercicios son naturales y tienen una lógica impecable.

The Tibetan Buddhist tradition talks extensively about the dying and after-death experience. This book is a comprehensive review of those instructions, made accessible, by someone who has an extensive background in meditation practice. The author has definitely done his research! This book will be very useful to Buddhist practitioners. As a long time meditator, I am familiar with almost all the references. But I would hesitate to recommend this book to someone new to meditation practice--the amount of information might be overwhelming. That said, Andrew points out the parts that are easy for everyone to understand, and the parts that are more esoteric. He is a masterful guide through the rich and complex realms of information and advice that are available, but scattered through many books and talks by various teachers.

An excellent guide if familiar with the subject

This wonderful book is life altering. And certainly death altering. I refer to it daily.

Excellent advice. North American contemporary and Eastern Tibetan spiritual advice integrated beautifully.