The Tactical Guide to Women: How Men Can Manage Risk in Dating and Marriage

The book is a quick, funny, engaging read. Shawn Smith is full of fun turns of phrase and anecdotes. The title is a bit infelicitous. It suggests a smarmy book on pick-up artistry. The subtitle - "How Men Can Manage Risk in Dating and Marriage" - accurately portrays the content, which is standard self-help relationship psychology from a straight man's point of view. I appreciate the book's engagement with the psychological literature - many self help books eschew statistically grounded measurements of human behavior.I particularly value the book for its pro-male, pro-female stance. Smith is able to discuss important risks of dating and marriage for men - diastrously asymmetric legal outcomes in divorce; inaccurate societal assumptions about domestic violence - from a positive, relationship-affirming point of view. He takes on these inequities and toxic feminist worldviews without the angry, bitter, misogynist tack typical of the Men's Rights Activist or Red Pill communities. Smith makes it clear that unabashed masculinity is something healthy heterosexual women seek and cherish in men; this message is lost in more "politically correct" self-help books, to the detriment of men misled into trying to auto-feminize their way to success in love.Unfortunately I didn't find the core of this book - Smith's concept of a "bright triad" of clarity, maturity, and stability in high quality women - to be particularly convincing. I found the material to be a mishmash of general relationship skills and some gee-whiz material on women suffering from mental illness, addiction, or personality disorders. Maybe better editing would have made this categorization of traits more clear. (At a lower level, the copyediting in the book is not great. Duplicated sentences, missing words, and extra words are frequent.) But I fear that the concept itself may just not be that strong. On the topic of general relationship skills, I found Gottman and Silver's _The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work_ to be more cogently organized and a wonderful read for men and women alike.My own interest in this book stemmed from my relationship history - getting ready to return to dating after two relationships in a row where I poured energy into fine young women who coolly resisted commitment. I came away disappointed. Before buying this, I read Robert Glover's _No More Mr Nice Guy_. It was revelatory to the point of being devastating in unpacking my own contribution to these failures. Glover does not say much on how to pick women well, so I wanted to know Smith's take on selecting for women with an appetite for commitment. Smith has nothing to say on the matter, and in fact, I struggle to pin down where these ex-girlfriends go wrong on his bright triad rubric. Furthermore, I was hoping for advice on gleaning information about compatibility on a few-date "tactical" timescale. Smith suggests waiting a year beyond the initial 12-18 month honeymoon period to emotionally evaluate a prospective partner before making hard-to-reverse commitments. I was disappointed to read that, as 2.5 year heartbreaking roads to nowhere are exactly what I'm looking to head off at the time of writing. A couple more of those and I'll be squarely middle-aged and never-married. If your past resembles mine - a history of failing to find commitment rather than jumping into it with disastrous partners - I enthusiastically recommend Glover. Glover at least pushes the reader to be a "good ender," e.g. to break up quickly and decisively when there seems to be a poor fit. That advice is far more tactical than anything here.All told, this book is not bad, but I feel it does not live up to its promise.

The books was overall good. I enjoyed that in the chapters, he would explicitly outline the guidance he was providing to the reader.He provided sources after some of his more direct claims, and this allows the reader to examine his references directly.I am rather ambivalent about the book's length. However, the book is brief enough and outlines precisely what you need without providing an excessive amount of fluff, so I'm not sure how much more needed to be said.Some things he outlines are important; how you should embrace your masculinity, learn to understand your woman, learn how seemingly admirable traits can devolve into pet peeves once relationships progress out of the honeymoon phase and breed resentment, and most importantly to recognize when you should get professional help.He provides some relatable stories of previous encounters he has had, personally, as well as situations experienced by other clients. These stories serve to help the reader be introspective about similar situations they have previously faced; possibly shed light on unproductive behaviors.It was an interesting read that wasn't overly technical.

Effective at helping men understand the thought process of women, and developing communication skills. Identifies great qualities to look for in a woman that show signs of possibly a long happy life with little grief as possible. Would recommend reading if you're young(20-30) before jumping into the dating/marriage aspect of life. Educational and applicable if done correctly.

All good phrasing tends to go the way of cliche. Irregardless, I'm going to use a cliched phrase and say that this book is "required reading for all men". There's simply no other way to put it. It's possibly the most impactful book I've read in the past 5 years.The title may suggest otherwise, but for me the biggest takeaway from this book was the segment dedicated to figuring out and unapologetically communicating your values and mission in life. The book identified the patterns that caused my previous relationships to fail and outlined how to avoid the same results in the future.There were many "lightbulb moments" and there has been a dramatic positive shift in how I relate to women since reading.This is not a book of half cooked pickup tactics or cynical theorising loosely informed by evolutionary psychology. It's an even handed and humanistic approach to improving yourself and how you relate to others. Optimistic individuals with a capacity for introspection and self transformation will get a lot of value from this.

This book does an excellent job of helping men better understand how to manage risk and make healthy decisions when dating women with the intent of pursuing a long-term relationship, possibly marriage. Young men need to understand that the person you choose to marry (assuming you want to marry in the first place) will be the single biggest decision you will ever make in your life, especially if you have children with that person. Today's divorce rates and the rates of couples who remain married but are unhappy are staggeringly high. The odds are not in your favor. Read this book to help you understand how to make healthy decisions so you don't end up like me. I also recommend James Sexton's "If You're in My Office It's Already Too Late".

This book is amazing, I loved the end far better than the start. It could get talk less at the beginning.

Great book. Lots of meaningful advice and examples. Recommended for anyone planning on getting into a long term relationship or already in one.

Livro completo, leitura fácil e extremamente valioso! Recomendo para todos os homens lerem ANTES de entrarem em um relacionamento. Parabéns ao autor

Great advice, 5 stars

Required reading for men navigating the hidden IED s of the world of women . “I think I found a good one but how do I know ? “Read on to work it out...