The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life Paperback – September 2, 2004

Getting to the bottom of your anger issues is possible with this book's information. Presented in a straight-forward, readable manner, the book's contents move the reader from understanding that anger is a natural human emotion and one that is acceptable to have and express to an understanding of how we can change our anger "habits." Many of us "anger junkies" were never taught HOW to manage our anger, nor were we told that anger is an acceptable feeling, so we tend to express it in all the wrong ways--by either turning on ourselves, our loved-ones, or others. Most often we express anger in the ways it was expressed or levied upon us at vulnerable times of our development when we didn't have a choice but to endure.The author presents scenarios from his own practice (with names changed) to help the reader to comprehend how he has helped others and the ways we manage anger is a choice. He also emphasizes that old patterns of anger-related behavior that are destructive to self, family, and friends, can indeed be changed with practice once the desire to change is present. Know that changing behavior and attitudes is a constant choice and a process that will take some time and concentrated effort.Surprising to me was the section concerning how I must just "let go" of some anger knowing that it is destructive largely to me if I don't and secondarily to my family, friends, and co-workers. This "offended" my personal sense of justice at first, but rereading this section helped me to see letting go is possible and gives me a new sense of healthy "control." According to Dr. Carter, "By accepting the freedom to manage emotions...angry people can recognize that 'If I"m going to have stability, it's my decision and no one else's.' That is when anger has less and less a grip on their lives" (70).Best wishes to all who read Dr. Carter's book. It has certainly helped me to understand where my anger came from (a highly-dysfunctional home with two addicted parents whom I parented and made excuses for many years as a child) and that I can take the control I've levied on others and use it to manage my emotions in more healthy ways.

First I should establish that I'm not much of a reader and I've never read a self-help book before. So it's really saying something that I finished this book in two days. Not only was it exactly the book I needed at this moment, it was written with exactly the approach I needed to read.For more than twenty years there's been a clear pattern in my relationships, a pattern where my insecurities and unresolved issues set the stage for childish and destructive expressions of anger. There were plenty of times when I had legitimate reasons to be frustrated, but as Dr. Les Carter rightly points out, the legitimacy of your viewpoint is sabotaged the very instant you resort to aggression.It goes beyond sabotaging your viewpoint, actually. If you don't train yourself to choose constructive assertiveness over destructive aggression, you'll sabotage your reputation, your relationships, your career, your chance at inner peace.It's been obvious to me that I needed to change, but I had no idea if such change was possible or if I was just "wired this way." This book has convinced me that the journey is indeed possible. Is the book a quick fix? No. It's a well-articulated outline of key distinctions, goals, and testimonials that will serve as a blueprint for growth -- if you'll allow it to be. As for me, I'm committed to absorbing and implementing its content for the rest of my days. I'll know it helped change my trajectory when I've successfully established the healthier habits described within. Like not letting emotional impulses overpower my brain. Like ditching narcissistic and controlling behavior. Like preserving the dignity of those I interact with, even those who frustrate me the most.You'll find that the book doesn't sugar-coat things or trivialize the destructive impact of anger, yet it's not written in a way that scolds you from cover to cover. There's plenty of room for optimism amidst the brutal honesty, something I really appreciated as I finished the last chapter. For the first time in my life, I have a sense of hope that I'll conquer the expressions of anger that have sabotaged me all these years.

I didn't realize I needed to read this book. I watch Les Carter on you tube. He is a genius. Just saying.

I originally bought this book for someone else, but learned so much from the book myself that I kept it!Really helpful when you're not sure how to deal with your inner anger without exploding on other people. Lots of great tips and it's been so helpful in my marriage & other relationships. Highly recommend.(Just a warning, if you're not into Christianity, this book might not be for you as it's written from a Christian perspective, but I feel like you can still apply the principles regardless of your spiritual beliefs.)