Becoming Gay: The Journey to Self-Acceptance Paperback – May 5, 2009

I found this book informative, and well-written. Dr. Isay's efforts to present the world with a normal developmental pathway for people attracted to same-sex partners is refreshing, particularly coming from a training and supervising analyst, and I fully intend to read his previous book on the subject. I like his cautiousness in helping patients come to grips with what really works for them, and was particularly touched by the account of the therapy of an elderly (heterosexually) married man with few, if any, contacts in the gay world, and Dr. Isay's ability to recognize the difficulty for him, of starting anew in a relatively unknown world, given his particular life-circumstances and failing health. I also admire the author's commitment and involvement with fighting and eradicating prejudice, especially within the confines of traditional psychoanalysis.I can only wish that he (or someone like him) write more about gay women, as he deals mainly with men.

I agree with Petronius' 3-star review that this book is at times a bit dry and clinical. Nevertheless, I consider it a worthy book to read at your top reading speed, skimming over parts which may not be relevant to you. I learned about this book, which was written in 1996, from a 2013 NYTimes article that refers to it, so I didn't expect all sections of it to be current, yet it does contain timeless wisdom gleaned from the author's lengthy career which gave him a unique position from which to make keen observations. I feel the book's main premise is well summarized in the opening lines of its preface: "Self-esteem is enhanced by being out. The sense of inauthenticity that inevitably results from remaining closeted leads to injurious inhibitions, making it difficult or impossible to find happiness in the love of another."

I found the book to be well-written, but too clinically scientific. I was looking for something more experiential from a lay point of view, rather than that of the mental health professional. The book's subtitle "The Journey for Self-Acceptance" suggested more of a personal story, or stories of different people on about their life experiences. This book was not like that. More like case summaries for other counsellors, in strictly clinical terms.

It's too skewed to psychoanalitical point of view on the topic. I expected wider view on problem of later homosexual identity formation. By I really liked the Introduction.

Simply and clearly written, this book transcends the "gay" perspective and offers to the reader an exploration of a gay person's experience in our society from a general human vantage point. Illuminating for a heterosexual physician.One limitation, acknowledged by the author, is that the book deals mainly with members of the East Coast's upper-middle class.

First two or three chapters were fine, but the rest of the book was nothing more than about the analytical society and psychiatrists accepting gay psychiatrists.

It is a very good book a lot of people should read it

The book title is a bit off as this book is more useful for psychologists rather then gay people trying to come to terms with themselves. I haven't found any good book yet on self-acceptance of homosexuality.

This is definitely worth-reading; at least because the author is an established gay-identified therapist whom played an integral role in eliminating homosexuality as an illness from the APA. Easy-to-read. This book is best suited for therapists whom are working with homosexuals.