How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk

I’ve read a lot of books about love and marriage and relationships and if I could only choose one to go by, it would be this one. It is very useful and practical. It has just enough depth to make you have to put in the work and find answers for yourself and your own personal situation. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who wants a high-quality, long-lasting, and healthy relationship with someone who is their best friend.

I really liked reading this book slowly and thoughtfully. It was very well researched and explained, and gave excellent suggestions for approaching new relationships. Granted, I still haven't found a new husband yet, but this certainly gave me excellent tools and food for thought to keep in mind when I am ready to try again. Looking back with 20/20 hindsight, I can clearly see the red flags I wish I had seen 30 years ago. The author's research was spot on as I think about the problem areas that I disregarded while dating my ex-husband. His painful childhood with an abusive father, the loveless marriage of his parents, his unexplained hatred of his sister, his difficulty in keeping a job, his distraction and neglect while his mother was slowly dying, and the contempt he had for all ex-girlfriends would have set off alarm bells in my head if I had read this book before I met him. At the same time, I saw my own faults more clearly as I thought about the book and "chewed on the passages" slowly. I don't want to be a jerk, and am working to change and grow where I have not been wise and mature.This is now my "go to" graduation gift. I'm thankful for the son our marriage produced and grandchildren to be, and I do believe there can be redemption for recovering "jerks." But I would certainly love for young people starting out and adults starting over to use their heads to recognize symptoms of people that simply will not make good candidates for marriage, no matter how much you love them. I am very glad the author wrote this book over a long time after doing much careful research. So far I have succeeded in not falling for another jerk. . . and I hope one day to find someone who is faithful, of good character, and positively not a jerk! I highly recommend this book.

I really loved how this book took a hard concept and broke it into small areas that everyone can use to make the right choice of a partner. The RAM model sheds light on the best way to choose someone you are compatible with and how to recognize or investigate that compatibility. This is the best book for any singles out there who are trying to find the right person for them.

Look, it's not trendy or glamorous.It's an honest look at what works --- and what wouldn't --- in dating.If you're looking for a healthy, real, happy relationship that can become a wonderful marriage, this is a solid, truthful map.Recommend.

I have loved reading this book. It has helped me identify what to look for in a partner and what red flags to watch for. I cannot recommend this book enough for both young and older singles.

Interesting. Good points to look out for.

As someone who's read multiple self help books on relationships, I have to praise Dr. John Van Epp's work for accomplishing something the others did not, namely the establishment of an explicit "roadmap" (the RAM model) for navigating the world of dating. I'll admit that the title is a bit misleading: though this book will certainly teach you what to look out for in prospective partners to ensure you don't ultimately marry a jerk, it actually does so much more. By encouraging you to examine your own past dating behaviors and laying out a safe and easy-to-follow method for gradually building a worthwhile relationship, this book will open your eyes to how a truly healthy relationship is formed. In fact, it helped me to realize that the relationship I was currently in was wrong for me.The only part of this book which didn't ring fully true to me was the section on sex. I believe the author's approach to sexual intimacy in relationships is a bit outdated (he encourages abstinence until marriage), but his views were still great food for thought and were presented in a straightforward, non-aggressive manner.

Great insight into why we date like we do and how we can do better. I wish every parent would read this book to support their child as they begin dating.

in the affairs of the heart you should always use your head. I am really happy for all the tools acquired.

When this book was suggested, I was skeptical. I believed most self help books didn't work, however this book really did help me. It helped me learn to assign myself greater value and not to acccept what others class and value me as. I have now found a guy that see this value and so far our relationship is going great. Thank you for all the help.

Muy buen libro

Wenn man das Buch liest, hat man den Eindruck, dass nie jemals eine Beziehung funktionieren kann. Viel zu theoretisch und viel zu viel beachte dies, beachte das. Aber man bekommt auch einige Denkanstösse.

When it comes down to it, learning about others takes time, effort and patience. If you want a lasting relationship, you've got to put the effort in, before and during! This book gives you easy to understand metrics that you can apply as you learn about your prospective partner. The More You Know!