Live Love Now: Relieve the Pressure and Find Real Connection with Our Kids Paperback – 28 April 2020

Rachel Mary Stafford's book Live Love Now is indeed a must read for every parent! In these times of uncertainty of where the world is heading the one thing that we have been blessed with is time to cherish those relationships that mean the most, those relationships that sustain us , those relationships that become our anchor ....the most treasured relationship is that of between parent and child....Rachel Mary Stafford with her impactful beautiful words aim straight for our heart to remind us that this precious parent -child relationship can be healed, can be maintained, can be nurtured on a daily basis and that all is not lost...especially at those times when we may think that we as parents have failed our children....Rachel Mary Stafford reminds us that our children indeed become our teachers with their unconditional love and trust in us as their parents. This beautiful book is a gift to keep close to your heart!

I cannot say enough good things about this book. It truly is life-giving and life changing. I am deeply grateful to Rachel Macy Stafford for the perspective shifts I experienced while reading this book. Her important messages are uplifting and motivating and fill me with so much HOPE. I feel so fortunate to get to experience this book now, and soak in the important lessons now, before my children are teenagers, but truly the lessons are universal to all ages/relationships and the things I’ve learned from the book are already positively affecting my interactions with my children. The questions at the end of each chapter are well thought out and incredibly helpful- I sat down with a notebook and pen and was amazed by what came out. I had some profound realizations and a clear idea of how to move forward. One line from the book that I keep reminding myself of is: “It’s okay. I know you aren’t yourself today.” It’s so simple, but just keeping that in mind has already shifted how I interact with my boys. It’s so easy to get defensive or irritated when they are grouchy or whiny, and I tend to start lecturing about why they shouldn’t be feeling/acting the way they do. Just this one small tweak, of thinking this line to myself and not responding in my “normal” way, has made a profound difference in our connection and also how long their grumpiness lasts! Another powerful thought I keep repeating to myself is the line: “I could take offense, but that would be a waste of precious time. And time is already going too quickly- it takes my breath away.” Brilliant! The timing of this book is not an accident- we are living in unprecedented times right now and need these insights and directions more than ever before. I am reading the book for the second time and I know it will be one that I read over and over, as I desire to etch these words deeply into my soul. This book is for anyone who wants the privilege of really KNOWING their child. What an honor and a priceless gift that truly is, for both the parent and the child.

Rachel Macy Stafford’s "Live Love Now" is the book that every parent who has every doubted themselves has been waiting for. This book is a loving toolbox full of practical advice, kindness and personal, heartfelt examples showing us how to navigate our way to a solid, positive, loving relationship with our children while also allowing them to become the people they are meant to be. Though it mainly addresses navigating the tween and teen years, it is truly meant for any age group at any point in time. Rachel assures us that all of our children, at any age, are still reachable, no matter what the past may have dealt us.I found it extremely helpful that Rachel uses the first section of her book to help us identify our own internal pressures, beliefs and anxieties that can lead towards strained interactions with, not only our children, but everyone around us. I appreciate that she allowed me to focus on some things that I could do to reframe how I interact with and present myself to my children. I feel that I was better able to absorb the rest of the book by looking inwards first.Rachel uses poignant examples from her own life and life experiences to allow us to imagine a world where we speak to our children (and to ourselves) in the most genuine, supportive way possible. Imagine learning how to encourage your children to become the best “them” possible (not who you think they should be!) just by the way you speak with them and interact with them on a daily basis?I love that Rachel encourages us to share ourselves, our experiences, and even our faults, with our children (though always at an age-appropriate level). In a world that often discourages that and tells us we should be strong, superhuman, and even without emotion (especially negative ones) in front of our children, this is like a breath of fresh air. Opening up to our children helps them to understand things that are going on, allows them to observe how we process information (good and bad) and shows them that our reactions are human and so are theirs. It allows our children to feel more comfortable coming to us with their own problems and questions.For any parent, teacher, grandparent or guardian who reads this book and takes it to heart, your children, tweens and teens are going to grow up in a more positive environment than they otherwise would have. Maybe small changes for some, maybe enormous changes for others, but all of them will be that much better off for it thanks to the guidance, encouragement and love that Rachel chose to share with us. Allowing our children to follow their own internal compasses, learning how to shift our perspectives and become truth-tellers, encouragers and guides rather than taskmasters, enforcers and half-listeners, is an opportunity none of us can afford to miss out on.Rachel’s ability to share her personal experiences in such an honest, real, way allows the reader to feel like they’re sitting on the couch with a best friend who sees them as the perfectly imperfect parent that they are while she gives them the advice and guidance they are seeking.

Full disclosure, I love absolutely everything that Rachel Macy Stafford writes (both her blog, Hands Free Mama, and the previous 3 books she has written). I stumbled upon her blog about three years ago and soon after started reading her book, Only Love Today. Because of Rachel’s willingness to be authentic and vulnerable in sharing very personal parenting struggles and successes with her readers, it felt like she was connecting specifically to me. I made significant improvements in my life, both in how I parent and how I value myself. I have been anxiously awaiting the release of Live Love Now: Relieve the Pressure and Find Real Connection with Our Kids, and she did not disappoint! As the title implies, this book is about connecting with our kids, who are growing up in a very stressful world. Her book is divided into three sections: Be a Truth-Teller, Not a Task Master, Be an Encourager, Not an Enforcer, and Be a Guide, Not a Half-Listener. Rachel was a special education teacher for 10 years, before becoming an author, so she is well versed in connecting with all kids. It is also evident that she did lots of evidence based research to write this book, as she often quotes various studies, counselors, and psychologists, and sites their work to support the point she is making. “The Index Card Exerise” Rachel conducted with hundreds of teens was eye opening and impactful. This book also gives so many real life examples of what we can do to build our kids up, when often the pressures of the world wear them down. This book was not preachy, instead it was uplifting, encouraging, and hope-filled. You will feel as though Rachel is walking right beside you, guiding and gently supporting you every step of the way. Rachel gives us hope when we feel hopeless. I felt empowered with strategies to implement with my kids, after reading this book. We all fiercely love our kids and want the very best for them. So I would challenge you to read this book and then to use it to guide you in connecting with your kids. What a wonderful gift to give to your kids and to yourself!

In the sea of parenting books, “Live Love Now” and its author stand out for several reasons. Firstly, this is a book which is not going to make you feel like you are falling short of expectations. It encourages you not only to “come as you are,” but also to be an example of authenticity, encouragement and guidance. Secondly, it is full of personal stories which are written so warmly and masterfully that you will get this tingly feeling of having Rachel over for a cup of tea - not only while you read but later too when her words will do circles in your overactive mind. Last, but not least, this book is what the world needs right now. We live in the most uncertain times of our lives, we are a few steps away or already neck deep in a generalized state of anxiety, our small children are looking up to us to regulate their own emotions while our older children are teaching us how to make the best of the circumstances created by the COVID-19 pandemic, we want to try our best as parents now more than ever. This book will give you some parenting tools on how to be peace in the chaos or how to unveil the disguises of fear. However, more importantly, in my humble opinion, it will make you feel less alone as Rachel’s aura of authenticity and vulnerability will wrap around you like a warm blanket. Go ahead, gift yourself this book and learn how to be gentle with yourself and strong for your children at the same time.