How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (The How To Talk Series)

Easy to read, engaging, and full of practical value. This book feels like a manual you can come back to over and over again. I love how each chapter is summarized in just one page- it makes reviewing and retaining the information so much easier. It’s also very interactive, with images that keep you engaged and help break down concepts visually. The book constantly encourages you to think, reflect, and apply what you’re learning, which makes a huge difference. There are plenty of real-life examples, along with testimonials, quotes, and insights from other professionals. That added perspective makes the content feel well-rounded and credible- not just one person’s opinion. I finished it in 3 days, and that was just reading a little at a time. I’m not a parent and I don’t work with kids, but I’ve applied these methods in my relationship, and they’ve genuinely improved communication. That said, this is not instant. It takes time, effort, and a lot of practice. The hardest part is retraining your brain and unlearning the patterns most of us grew up with. Small tip for readers: I use a gray highlighter instead of yellow because it feels less overwhelming and doesn’t make me feel like I’m ruining the book. I also prefer using sticky notes instead of writing directly on the pages. If you do this, lightly reduce the stickiness before placing them as these pages are thin (paperback), and they can tear easily. At the end of the day, we never really stop being kids- this book helps you understand that on a deeper level and I think that is way the methodology works. Highly recommend. Honestly, this should be taught in schools.

Truly a powerful book for communication with your children, partner or anyone!!! Connection and respect - cooperation and love —- getting and creating the life and family you dream of - accessible by practicing these skills - wow - humbled and thank you!

Game changer for parents. I read/listened to the audiobook. It is full of tips for parents to help with communication for parents. I have more meaningful conversations with my children. It changed the way we talked and it helped strengthen our relationship

Excellent book until one gets to the final chapter titled "The Next Generation" written by Adele Faber's daughter. A more apt title for this chapter is "How to Negotiate with your Children... and Erase any Boundaries between Parents and their Children." I took to heart everything Adele Faber suggested to talk with and listen to my child better. Her suggestions have worked and our child seems much happier, talkative and her confidence has gone up, as well as ours as parents. We are in a much better place as a family then where we were before we read this book. However, it will be a cold day in h*ll before I implement Faber's daughter's suggestions. There will not be a table manner compromise 3xs a week as a solution where we all elect to eat with our hands instead because our child doesn't like using utensils. We will model how to use them; we will encourage her and we will let her know that our values as a family is that we have polite table manners whether we are at home eating at our own dinner table or elsewhere. Faber's daughter's description of agreeing to "wait in the car" and miss her mother-in-law's funeral because her "tomboy" daughter refused to dress in appropriate attire for the formality of the event is also insane and a non-starter. I took particular offense at her use of the descriptor "tomboy" which like "sensitive" to describe a boy is outmoded, ignorant and offensive. Kids, like people, are who they are and like what they like and those interests are not defined or influenced by either gender. Our daughter is a girl who likes tie dyed t-shirts and leggings, but, when it's time for her to attend formal events she chooses either a dress or a dressy pants suit, i.e., appropriate clothes. She gets a choice on type of outfit but not on the formality of it. By doing so, we are still sensitive to her feelings and giving her some autonomy, but she also understands that she's the child and we are the parents; our family's values and our boundaries. We are not and never will be coequals that take a vote as a family like we are the UN either on family vacations my husband and I pay for or how we decorate the common areas of our home whose mortgage we pay . Absurd. There's nothing wrong with setting firm boundaries with our children, clear expectations and give limitless love, encouragement and Faber's version of positive praise. More than anything, that's what kids want and its our job to give that to them. I hope future editions omit "The Next Generation." Truthfully, Faber's suggestions were commonsense and tested over 30 years successfully and they don't need any updating or input from "The Next Generation."

Highly recommend

This book became my parenting "Bible" when my kids were younger, along with "Siblings Without Rivalry" (by the same authors), which is another must-have. I just happened to pick this up in a bookstore many years ago, and have been recommending it ever since. I should say here, that I was a School Psychologist, who also utilized these communication skills when dealing with students. I read where someone said in their review "Nothing I didn't know". Well, we all know some pieces of it...not to scream, not to belittle, not to condemn...but not everyone knows what to do instead. It's also important that you remember the title of the book is "How To Talk So kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk". It's about communicating better, and improving interpersonal skills. If you have a problem with your child seriously abusing drugs, then I'd suggest that you read this while your child is receiving appropriate treatment. It's not a "cure-all' for every possible issue.... although many (myself included) would say that poor communication can certainly be a causal factor behind many other "behaviors". Once you understand & integrate the authors concepts, they make perfect sense, and the authors make understanding simple, by presenting the material in an easy-read/comic form with a multitude of examples. After all, conscientious, loving and well-meaning parents need help, too, and this book can provide just that. If you just feel like you're not connecting with your child, and they're turning away from you rather than allowing you to be a support for them, try reading this. You don't have much to lose (a little time reading & a little bit of $) and you might find that a small change in YOUR behavior can lead to a big change in theirs (I did), and open the door to better communication....not to mention a more satisfying & less stressful family life. What could be better than that?

I cannot say enough good things about this book. I picked it up while visiting my sister and couldn't put it down! Each chapter focuses on relevant and practical parenting issues and gives clear and manageable advice. Instead of telling parents to just be more patient, it actually provides simple things you can do and say (seriously, exact words and phrases) in the moment. You can practice these tips and get better, which is really encouraging. It also doesn't beat you up for failing. The authors recognize that parents are people and have real feelings, so their advice never feels shaming or patronizing. I found this particularly refreshing because authors of parenting books usually seem perfect and are totally unrelatable. I have found that my mindset has shifted quite a bit since reading this book. I'm actually planning to pick it up and go through it again to help reinforce the techniques. I HIGHLY recommend reading this!

This book works. It's hard to believe but if you read each chapter and do the exercises (for practice) and then try it out on your kids (or in my case, my kindergarten aged niece) -- it actually works! Here's an example: my niece was having a WWIII type of tantrum one day because her candy cane had broken in half. (It was Christmas time.) Her parents, older sister, grandma, everyone was telling her that it was no big deal, she can have another candy cane, it will still taste just the same, etc., anything to get her to see reason and calm down. It only made her fit worse. Things escalated. Her mother started shouting threats to send her to her room. Then - I tried something that I had read in the book: Let the child have the feelings she's feeling and let her know that she's having those feelings. So, I went over to her and said -- just like one of the book's exercises: "It's terrible. Your candy cane broke, and now it's not a perfect candy cane anymore. Even though it will taste the same, it's not a candy CANE anymore. I can see how upsetting it is, because it's not the perfect candy cane that it used to be." And boom - she completely calmed down. She sat next to me without saying anything, but I could tell, she was finally feeling what she was feeling -- rather than being upset and fighting to claim her right to feel what she was feeling, if that makes sense. And that was that. She stopped being upset and ate her broken candy cane. There are so many other examples like this -- the 'one word' tip, the 'describe it/don't tell them what to do' tip, the 'write a wish list together' tip... I could go on. They really work!

Useful book

Bought as gift. Recipient very pleased.

Just think about what it is you tell your kids during a normal day. Isn't it mostly orders and no? Think about it and start to really talk to your kids. And how do you react when your kid tells you something? By giving advice and telling your kid what YOU think (is the right thing to do, to say, etc)? Try saying nothing instead and just listen. This are two key advices I found very helpful, simple and was able to use immediatly. I first bought this book as an e-reader edition, but absolutely had to have the printed edition. Not so much to do the assignments, but more to work on it with markers and stickers. I will keep it close to make sure I read it over and over again because many of the advices might not fit it right now, but will for sure come in handy later on.

Libro fantástico, lo he recomendado muchísimas veces

It's quite amazing how good this book can work. It is very easy explained and it has a lot of draws and examples. It's also very realistic: It never sells magic solutions, nor says everything will work for everybody. So, it's like being in a workshop with another parents, but in your home and in your own.