The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious & Change the Way You Lead Forever

This book was awesome. My job is a Scrum Master in project management, in which my biggest job is to coach others to be more effective. As a more authoritative "get things done" type, I found this book extremely helpful. While some coaching can be taken to the dark side of manipulation, this book comes from a lets bring out the best in everyone so they can be more effective type way. In addition, not only does Michael Stanier give great advice (lol), but he does it in a way that empathizes with the struggles people may have, including his own. When reading it, I felt understood and supported, which def increased my motivation to learn more. As a coach myself, I know how difficult this can be, it really is an art, and he is a master painter. Easy read, simple concepts (hard to implement, but simple to understand), and paired with real life examples. I also loved how he used his own examples and was vulnerable and open, he admitted his weaknesses and shared his struggles. He uses comparisons of the primal lizard gut feel brain versus where we want to go and who we want to be. Great book for anyone looking to understand why we feel the way we do when it comes to advice and coaching, and how to be more effective in your personal leadership skills. Thanks for your contribution to this world, Michael!

Easy reading, entertaining & pertinent, clarified the issue addressed in the book (Advise giving)

Very helpful for anyone wanting to be a coach or a leader. Can be difficult to hold your attention, but overall really good!

I love this book because: - His writing is clear, to the point and easy to read (this is not a business book you need to slog through) - The ideas are clearly presented in a way you can identify with. - It packs in a lot of value and actionable tips in a short read. I found this author by listening to the How to be Awesome at your Job podcast when he released his first book, The Coaching Habit. I loved that book and when this one came out, I knew it would be a great companion. I have a big advice monster and never even realized it could cause a problem for someone else until I heard read this book. While reading it, I started noticing how often I was doling out my “wisdom” and how it made people feel. I’ve even started practicing a few of these tips with my husband and it opened up some great conversation. Highly suggest reading this book and The Coaching Habit. Real game changers. Adding these to my top reads list.

My role is to implement systems through influence. Not having direct line control I found that I needed to change my approach to people to sell a new management system called Lean Manufacturing. Selling this system through telling, or even teaching, was a failure; people were not buying in. I needed help. Researching on how to influence people to adopt a system, I came across Michael on YouTube. Being curious, I watched a few of his videos. Then being intrigued, I bought “The Coaching Habit” on Kindle and Audible. A book beyond excellence that lead me to snapping up this book too. The Advice Trap, which is a seamless and reinforcing continuation of the former book, eloquently encapsulates the practicality and ease of understanding of what it is to be coach-like. I find myself continually referencing both books where I have “mind-mapped” and “process mapped” the learnings that I practice everyday. Although the concepts are delivered in an easy to understand way, and the concepts are easy in their own right, putting them to use requires practice, repetition, practice, repetition and so on of which Michael prepares the reader for. It is referred to as “hard change” where Michael, in his witty way, explains how to change. Both books have been revolutionary for me, and for this I am very grateful for Michael.

I have been a fan of Michael Bungay Stanier’s work for many years and have read, appreciated, and used the tips, tools, strategies, and more from his books and programs. When “The Coaching Habit” was released I read it, thought this is as good as it gets, and started using in programs I deliver to help leaders be more “coach like.” But then, viola! He does it again with “The Advice Trap!” In it Michael goes much deeper exploring reasons that it is so hard to avoid jumping in with all the answers and more importantly provides practical, specific steps that when followed help us to stay curious longer and jump to advice-giving a little more slowly. And, personally I loved the opportunity at the end of each chapter to reflect and capture what was valuable in each chapter. Further, throughout the book he provides information on how to access even more helpful (and free) information from his website. Finally, at the end of the book he provides “A Bonus of Extra Goodness” that includes book recommendations and much more. If you want to be more “coach like,” if you deliver programs designed to help leaders/others be more coach like, or even if you want to do a better job of coaching yourself, then is absolutely a must read! Ed Nottingham, PhD, PCC Consulting & Clinical Psychologist Author, “It’s Not as Bad as It Seems: A Thinking Straight Approach to Happiness”

This is a part 2 of sorts. Bungay Stanier wrote The Coaching Habit which popped up on a quick-read free book about the three best business books that would impact the way I managed a team. As I went to order the first book I saw that a new book had also come out by the same author. I ended up buying and loving both. The two books compliment each other and I would definitely read the Coaching Habit first. The Advice tRap however is not about the author refreshing old content, he actually goes deeper and offers ironically great advice. The text is formatted to make them easily readable, they are research-based and provide a wonderful chapter in case you want to read more on the given topic. There is also a website that connects to the books and helps flesh out what you are learning. At the end of the day, what you learn is actionable and I am eager to work with these tools and grow into some hard new habits!

I feel like everyone in the world should read this book. It not only is helping myself to become an active listener with my kids, truly listening to what they are saying to me. It is teaching me to ask powerful questions, to wait…not answer, “stay curious” and see what the kids can come up with! The kids (or anyone for that matter) need to know they have answers and once they’re mindful to what’s going on they can develop a game plan to help themselves. It’s empowering for them and myself! Better communication equals better relationships all the way around. Empowering others just makes yourself more powerful.

100% fantastic book. I couldn't put it down. Michael style of prose is perfect. Anyone can read this book and understand the messages he is portraying. It's written from the heart and I can imagine this is how it is if I was in a room learning from him in person. There are so many amazing strategies that are so simple. Can't wait to put them into practice.

I do strongly recommend this book for anyone interested in getting better. The principles apply to everything in life’s and actually to everyone.

Good book to read for every leader

As I expected, a practical book (again) by MBS.

Michael's second book is such a find: this is transformational, easy-reading and well-written. His style is insightful and witty. The book itself is such a useful tool for anyone who wants to ensure their relationships with others are valuable, humble and curious. Read this and you and your team will do your best work. To call it a leadership book seems a bit of a misnomer, as there's too many books branded the next big thing or to make you the world's best leader. This is more fundamental than that. It reminds you to be a decent human being, through curiosity and humility, by truly listening and through nurturing better habits. You'll feel empowered, happy and ironically if you're a 'save me' like me (read it!)... you'll finally reach your goal to be helpful, sometimes, simply by shutting up!