The Gift of Caring: Saving Our Parents―and Ourselves―from the Perils of Modern Healthcare

“If you’ve known one person with Alzheimer’s, you’ve known ONE person with Alzheimer’s!” That’s a saying pretty well known in my community - the Community of Alzheimer’s Caregivers. No two victims of this horrible disease are exactly alike and so, while the symptoms and manifestations of those we care for may be similar to the symptoms of other victims, the order of appearance as well as the reactions to the symptoms may vary greatly between victims AND caregivers alike. But something I’ve definitely learned in my caregiver journey – you can always learn from the experiences, good and bad, of others. “The Gift of Caring” takes you on a journey of caregiving and a bumpy ride it is. You are brought along for the ride while the author describes the struggle to provide the best care, medically and emotionally, to first her Father and then, unfortunately, her Mother. In this way, the book differs little from the stories told by other caregivers. But following each section of a chapter or two or three is a chapter which provides the insight of a noted geriatrics physician. What to look for, helpful hints in treatment and even how to avoid, prevent or at least delay the situation. There are stand-alone books by caregivers and there are stand-alone books by physicians but this is the first book I’ve see where the two sides work in concert to inform the reader. IT WORKS!! Frankly, it is a Home Run. The title implies that it is for the adult offspring of elderly parents and that is much too limiting. The book is worth reading for anyone who has contact with Modern Healthcare, regardless of age or circumstance. I have personally found it much too good to keep to myself and will be purchasing several copies for gifts… starting with my two children. Well worth reading and deserving of every one of those Five Stars!!!

This is the BEST book I have ever read on taking care of an elderly parent. It was more than I expected because it also alerted to me about how I can improve my own life as I head into the "senior years." Having recently gone through a painful family crisis with my mother's care, this book helped me see that we did indeed save her from a facility that was giving her too much medication and causing her ongoing problems. The book affirmed our decisions and will be a guide for future decisions for her care and our own. Everyone should read this book because even if we aren't responsible for the care of a parent, we ARE all going to reach those years where we need to make decisions. Being aware of what needs to go right and what could go wrong with our care is half the battle. Thank you to Marcy Houle and Dr. Eckstrom for this wonderful, very readable book. If there were 10 stars to give, I would give it 10 stars!

This book is well written, informative, interesting and extremely useful if you have an aging parent. After I read it I bought 3 more to share with my siblings and have told all my friends about it whose parents are elderly. It is an interesting and easy read. I have bought several other books on the subject since dealing with my 90 year old mothers health and mental decline - looking for help and answers. I only skimmed them all until I stumbled across this great little book. I read it cover to cover. Yes some sections were sad and hard to get through because of the emotions, but I am so grateful for having found this book. Thank you Marcy Cottrell for sharing your story and insight. I am forever grateful.

What an incredible book! There were so many "eye openers" in the book, many of which I will immediately incorporate and/or address. One of the first things I did was check my parents' medications against the Beers list. The format of the book -- told from the author's personal caregiving experience for her parents, with followup chapters by an MD specializing in geriatric care was especially noteworthy and helpful. I immediately identified with many of the difficult experiences with the author's parents' healthcare as we are currently going through the caregiving experience with my parents, combined with distance and a rural locale, which makes it even more of a challenge. I kept wishing I could find an equivalent for the in-home caretakers, Alonso and Helen, for my parents. It helped affirm for me that feelings of helplessness, guilt, and inadequacy are part of the overall caregiving experience, especially during difficult circumstances and decision points.

This is a great resource for those caring for an elderly parent or loved one. It is written in a clear form, with professional observations interspersed.

This book is a superb reference book for aging adults as well as their adult children. It is a view of life’s ending chapters as detailed by an adult daughter who assumed the role of Caregiver. What makes it unusual is that the daughter relates the experiences — often difficult and always challenging— that she and her parents lived through. Then an experienced gerontologist comments upon each of these exigencies and suggests way to better cope with them. The suggestions are specific and can be employed immediately. Especially helpful are lists —without cumbersome verbiage— of how to get getter sleep, how to complete a POLST directive; how to prevent falls; how to reduce number of pills prescribed; when to choose palliative care, etc. These topics are often touched upon in other books, but in the “The Gift of Giving” they are spelled out in enough detail to be extremely helpful. Without qualification, I heartily endorse this book . Dr. Sivia Kaye

Very well written memoir style of caring for parents and the perils of the health care system. As someone going through similar circumstances right now, I found it to be touching, sad in places, and it provides insight into how to avoid some of the pitfalls of caring for our parents and ourselves when the time comes. Co-written by a doctor who provides additional information. I literally want to share this with everyone aged 50 and older who will one day have to care for parents, spouse, or themselves.

This book is super important whether you have or will have parents in the medical system or expect you might be there yourself! I have recommended it to everyone I know. I've read several books about the experiences that an author's parents or spouse have endured at the end of life but this book includes chapters by a doctor entitled "What I Wish I Had Known" - I found these chapters incredibly helpful. I loved how the book was written and was incredulous at the experiences this woman and her parents had as they neared end of life. This is a must read!

A must read for seniors. Prevention for those who are not only interested in preparing for the inevitable for their parents and siblings but for themselves as well.

To better understand the problems of old age, and because I knew already what an excellent writer Marcy Houle is and knew her book woukd reflect her honesty, warmth and compassion. It was even better than I anticipated, thanks to her co-writer, a geriatrician whose interlinking chapters gave insight into the various health problems and treatments.