Pagan Polyamory: Becoming a Tribe of Hearts Paperback – November 8, 2005

I think he could have gone into more depth about the spiritual/neopagan aspects of polyamory - mostly what he seemed interested in discussing were rituals for poly handfastings, settling arguments, etc. and how it interacts with neopagan culture. Overall a really interesting book with some fresh perspectives that I enjoyed.

Recommend this book for pagans and non-partisan alike. If you already practice polymorphism or are just getting started in the poly life style.

Kaldera took the time to interview people in poly relationships (or have them fill out surveys) to pull together information from a wide cross-section of the poly community. He does a wonderful job of presenting concepts and differing viewpoints on the same ideas. He's not very good about sourcing statistical-sounding information, but overall the book will be valuable to anyone considering or involved in a poly relationship.

This book was exactly what I expected and more. The book is full of real life experiences of different scenarios that are invaluable to read. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone interested in polyamory. Of course being Pagan or open-minded to religion doesn't hurt either.

Intelligent, thought-provoking look at managing multiple relationships, plus the reader gets a palpable sense of the author through his use of language and writing style, which adds further to the pleasure of reading this book.Insightful analysis of the negatives that dog any open relationship, as well as their root causes: territoriality, envy, jealousy, and possessiveness - read this section over more than once. Also worth re-reading: the Mars chapter on fighting honorably. Concise, thorough explanation of how to set up composite astrology charts for multiples - this was something I have always wondered about, and this was the first time I have seen it discussed. Also, some really beautiful, carefully thought-out rituals - I particularly like the one for finding a tribe, which could be used by any soloist in search of the right coven.Now, for the problem I have with one of the premises of this book - the idea that the primary relationship takes precedence over the secondaries. This is not a criticism of the author, but rather of a basic premise behind polyamory. Why would anyone want to be a secondary, which is little more than a concubine position always subordinate to the primary marriage? Kaldera mentions some of the reasons why people are content to be secondaries, but doesn't explore viewpoints of secondaries re: their status in sufficient depth. "How can secondaries successfully negotiate the polyamory power dynamic without getting used?" is the question I feel this book doesn't answer. The "contract" he includes is blatantly self-serving in terms of his relationship with his wife, at the expense of the secondary. The author does mention that this contract is old, and notes how he has evolved beyond it in certain ways, but a few chapters devoted specifically to secondary viewpoints, and an updated contract juxtaposed with the original would definitely have rounded out this book.

I'm in a newly formed MFF triad and I'm trying to read everything I can about polyamory. I pre ordered this book, I was so excited to see that it was going to be published. I received it last week and read it in two days. WOW. As Raven points out there aren't many role models for the type of relationship that we are choosing to engage in. I think polyamory is a paradigm for our future as a society. And the more we support each other, the better off we'll all be.Raven writes in a very accessible style. At times very thought provoking, at others he brings a smile or even a laugh at his turn of phrase.I loved the section he called the Demonologia Polyamoria, classifying the problems of polyamory, such as jealousy, possessiveness and envy as demons. He talks about the effects these negative emotions can have on a polyamorous relationship (any relationship in fact) but these emotions seemed to be magnified when there are more people involved. He also gives practical and down to earth advice, referring often to the comments and suggestions made by the people he interviewed for the book, on how to deal compassionately with these demons.Besides the information on polyamory, the rituals that he includes are amazing. As a pagan, I found the inclusion of a spiritual aspect of relationship support to be extremely helpful. At the end of every chapter there's a ritual included to help with the difficulties or celebrate the triumphs that were addressed in that chapter. For example at the end of the Sun chapter he provides an excellent self binding spell for the Shiney New Love Syndrome, which can plague many polyamorous relationships.I also enjoyed reading the comments, thoughts and words of advice provided to him by the people he interviewed. It was great reading about the problems and joys that they's encountered over the years, how they dealt with them and celebrated them. It makes our small triad feel a little less alone.Over all I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I'm looking forward to re reading some parts of it, refering to it constantly over the next few months and getting my partners to read it as well.I would recommend this book to anyone who's considering to become involved in a polyamorous relationship, to those who are already in one and to those who are simply interested in this new relationship paradigm.

Raven's book gives much useful, clear advice about how to have a poly relationship, without the usual pitfalls and heartaches. He interviews a number of poly families about mistakes they made, and solutions they've found. His advice is excellent, and I highly recommend this book.

This book is great information for anyone in a poly lifestyle, it is also a great book for those intrested in forming a tribe of hearts, With a circle of close friendship and love.

While I really love the prequel some of the advice in the book is really toxic when it comes to handling relationships. Would recommend for the take on paganism but not the polyamory content.